


Straight Into Your Arms

by emma_b



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Tension, Biphobia, F/M, Hurt, Jealous Derek, Jealous Stiles, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Work In Progress, and it takes a lot for them to realize it, awkward work environment, basically Derek and Stiles are too stubborn to admit they still love each other, friends to lovers to enemies (?) to lovers, the Hale fire is cannon but nothing about the supernatural is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-04 16:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 34,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_b/pseuds/emma_b
Summary: Derek and Stiles had an unconventional start to their relationship, so it makes sense for them to have an unconventional break-up. Three years after the break-up, Stiles is thrust back into Derek's life because he, conveniently, got a job at Silver, the restaurant where Derek manages the bar. Derek wants nothing to do with Stiles, but he hasn't seen the love of his life in years... old wounds are bound to reopen.Stiles swears that he came back to Beacon Hills because he needed a job for the summer and because he missed his dad, nothing else. Not because Derek is still there and certainly not because he needs closure.Featuring Scott and Erica as the masterminds of their relationship development post-breakup.





	1. May

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've posted in literal years and that's only because I'm already mostly done with it and happy with how it has turned out so far. There will be three chapters total and I already have chapter two done, so I'll post that within the next week or so. Let me know what you think and happy reading...♥
> 
> WARNING: Stiles struggles with biphobia in this fic and it was a theme/character flaw I forgot to expand upon, explain, and therefore resolve and have him move past. This was a serious error on my part, especially because I am bisexual and have experienced biphobia personally. I have re-written a scene in this chapter to expand upon why Stiles struggles with biphobia and that he is making moves to resolve it. I sincerely apologize to anyone who has already read the original chapter and was hurt by the comments he made because I didn't warn you about it. Additionally, if you are uncomfortable with biphobic remarks please know that there are a few in this chapter and to read at your own discretion.

The second Derek saw the name, his heart stopped beating for a moment. He was in the uniform office with a lady named Sally Stoleting and he was in the process of getting a new nametag, one that said: _Derek Hale Bartender Manager 2 Yrs._ He looked down at the sheet of paper with the names of the new hires on it and read and re-read the name, just to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. Derek traced the letters and sighed heavily.

_Of all places, why would he choose to work_ here _?_ Derek wondered to himself.

The name _Stiles Stilinski_ was printed in neat handwriting followed with _server: one tie (black), one apron (white)_. Underneath was _Scott McCall, bartender, one vest (black), one tie (skinny, maroon)_.

Derek momentarily forgot that Stiles will be working only _feet_ away from him in favor of dreading the fact that he will have to train his best friend how to bartend.

As if working with the person who ripped your heart from your chest wasn’t bad enough.

“Who hired these people?” Derek asked Sally, still eyeing the offending paper with a menacing look. 

“Miss Argent of course,” Sally said to him, glancing up at him from the desk where she was sitting. “Kate’s niece Allison vouched for the two of them, so she hired them.”

Derek rolled his eyes and gave the paper another glare before sitting in the chair in front of Sally’s desk.

“Or,” Sally said to Derek with a grin, “she’s still pissed that you left her for that boy and hired him to make your life a living hell.”

Derek nearly laughed, “It’s probably a little of both.” An awkward silence engulfed the room in one fatal blow when Sally gave Derek a cold look. “Don’t tell me she’s still bitter?”

“Well you know Kate,” Sally said, printing off the sticker that was to go on Derek’s new nametag.

“You know her better than I do,” Derek retorted. Sally was Kate’s best friend after all.

She gave Derek a wicked grin, “And whose fault is that?”

Derek huffed and bit back the comment he was going to make. As if he wanted to fall for that sarcastic, lanky high school boy. As if he ever considered he might be interested in men before he met Stiles.

“Look, I get it,” Sally said, concentrating on putting the sticker onto the new nametag with the utmost precision. “You can’t stop love, but you also can’t stop Kate. The moment she found out you were working here at Silver for her brother, she stormed in here and demanded a job. She wants to ruin you Derek, she hates you.”

“Doesn’t she understand that the way to go about ruining me isn’t through Stiles?” Derek asked.

“What more can she take from you Derek? You’re the boy who lost everything,” she said quietly. “As far as she’s concerned, Stiles is the last person you’d ever want to see but the one person you love the most.”

Derek shrugged, “I’m over him. It’s been two years.”

“You were with him for three,” Sally said, handing Derek his nametag.

Derek bit the inside of his cheek; he knew he wasn’t over Stiles but it was his best kept secret. “Kate can throw Stiles in my face all she wants, but it isn’t going to hurt me. And if need be I can quit this job and find a new one,” Derek said.

“And what? Leave town and never return?” the two stood up from their seats. “Beacon Hills is your home; you have so many memories here.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Derek sighed and exited the room.

 

Derek heard Stiles before he saw him.

It was three in the afternoon, exactly five days after Derek found out about Stiles and Scott getting hired. The bar doesn’t even open until four but Derek had to come in early so he could train Scott.

“Dude it so sucks that I couldn’t bartend with you,” Derek heard Stiles say to Scott.

Derek knew he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but it was hard not to when the love of your life was in the same room as you and you haven’t seen him in two years. Derek shook his head and sat up straighter in the barstool he was sat in; he tried to concentrate on the training papers he was reading. He hadn’t trained anyone new in months and he was afraid he’d gotten rusty.

“Kate said there was only one position open and she felt I was more personable,” Scott said. He sounded a little irritated, like he had already gone over this with Stiles multiple times before.

“I still can’t believe she hired us,” Stiles said. The sound of his voice was getting closer now. “Well, I mean hiring you I can understand, but me? Never would’ve guessed.”

“Maybe she forgot who you were,” Scott offered. “You look a lot different now.”

Derek could almost hear Stiles roll his eyes. “Or maybe she just doesn’t care,” Stiles said.

“That’s probably it,” Scott replied.

They were almost at the bar then. Derek sipped his water and tapped his foot against the floor nervously.

Scott said, “I mean- the whole Derek situation was a mess but it was so long ago, I doubt she cares.”

Derek tried not to listen as he saw them round the corner of the bar out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah,” Stiles agreed lamely.

“Wow,” Scott said in surprise. “I can’t believe you let me say his name out loud.”

“You’re probably going to have to get used to it,” Stiles said. Derek could feel Stiles’ eyes on his back. “Apparently he frequents here.”

Derek rolled his eyes and kept his eyes on the papers, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep him from saying anything until he had to.

“The bar isn’t even supposed to be open yet,” Scott said in surprise. “I never pinned him as a functioning alcoholic.”

“I’m not an alcoholic, Scott,” Derek said severely and turned around to face the boys, who looked equally embarrassed. Stiles wasn’t making eye contact, not that Derek was really even trying anyway. “I work here—I’m the bar manager, I’m going to be training you.”

“Shit,” Stiles muttered. Derek glanced at him again. Apparently he found his shoes utterly fascinating today.

Scott’s face turned a deeper shade of red.

“And since I’m your _boss_ , I suggest you keep your judgmental comments to a minimum,” Derek said crossly.

“I guess I know why I’m the waiter now,” Stiles said to the floor.

Derek’s frown only deepened at the comment. At least he knew Kate wasn’t a complete sadist, she could’ve made Stiles the new bartender.

He would have to thank her later.

“Um,” Scott said dumbly to Stiles. “I guess I’ll see you when we go on break?”

Stiles only nodded, shoved his hands into his ill-fitting black dress pants, and walked away.

He had grown his hair out and Derek couldn’t help but want to run his fingers through the soft, thick hairs and slam his head against a brick wall. Repeatedly.

“So…” Scott said and cleared his throat. “How long have you been working here for?”

“Two years,” Derek gestured to his new nametag. “I got the job after, uh... I thought it would keep my mind off things.”

“Say no more,” Scott said with an awkward shoulder pat.

“I wasn’t going to,” Derek sneered at Scott’s hand.

Scott removed his hand from Derek’s shoulder and shoved it in his pants pocket. “This will be my last question about… this, I promise, but how did _you_ of all people score a job at Silver? I thought Kate would’ve rather seen you dead than have you work for her.”

Derek gave Scott a half smile. “Chris gave me this job because he owed me a favor. Kate only got here a year and a half ago. I hardly see her around. You’re not wrong though, she does hate me.”

“Is that why she hired me and Stiles?”

“I thought that was supposed to be your last question?” Derek said, giving Scott a pained look.

“I changed my mind,” Scott said.

Derek looked up and over to the dining side of the restaurant. Allison and Stiles were laughing about something much too hard and Derek worried they were laughing about him. Stiles looked up then and, the moment they made eye contact, Derek flicked his eyes away and walked around the other side of the bar.

He never did answer Scott’s question.

Just like he ignored the stutter of his heartbeat when Stiles looked at him.

 

“And that’s how you pour a beer from the tap without fucking it up,” Derek said, putting the glass of beer down on the counter as Scott inspected it.

“Is this the part where I try to do it?” Scott asked.

Derek nodded and watched Scott grasp the handle of the Guinness tap and pour the beer into a glass.

“Hell yeah that’s what I’m talking about!” Scott cheered; looking at the beer he poured that was near perfect. “Thank God I went to all those parties last semester.”

Derek rolled his eyes. From what he understood, Scott and Stiles both went away to UCLA after they graduated high school two years ago. He heard from Allison that they got an apartment in LA last summer with some friends but, as most things do, it fell apart before this summer started. Which is why the boys are back and in need of a job.

“What are you studying?” Derek asked as he checked off a few more things on Scott’s training checklist.

“Vet tech,” Scott answered with a smile. “It’s really challenging but I like it.”

Derek only nodded.

“Do you… have you gone back to college?” Scott asked, leaning up against the bar. “I know you were thinking about finishing up classes when you and-”

“-I have my master’s degree in business management,” Derek interrupted. He put Scott’s papers down and glanced over at Stiles and Allison, who were no longer training but goofing off.

“Why are you a bartender then?” Scott asked, looking over at Stiles and Allison as well. Derek couldn’t help but notice the twinge of sadness that colored his eyes.

“Well, Chris initially hired me so I would be able to take over his job—we figured by that time I would be done with school and have my degree. And because Allison wants to work for the FBI rather than own her own business, he thought I would be the perfect fit. He was supposed to retire a year and a half ago, but once Kate stepped in to help him, he decided he would postpone retirement because she was helping out so much,” Derek explained.

“Why don’t you just find a new job?” Scott asked, tearing his gaze away from the pretty girl and back to Derek.

“I might have to now,” Derek muttered. Before Scott could say anything else Derek said, “Anyway, as you probably know, the servers have a soda fountain back where they put in their orders to the kitchen. Unless it gets super busy, like on Fridays, Saturdays, and holidays the servers will occasionally use our fountain if it gets too backed up at theirs. They have to put in the orders for alcohol for their tables with us though.”

“Gotcha.”

“On slow nights the servers will tell us their orders from word and mouth, going so far as to pour their own beers and such. But when it gets busy they’ll put their tickets on the spinning wire rack by our soda fountain,” Derek said and gestured to the rack with clips on it. “Take the ticket off the rack and toss it in the bin that says “out”. Then give the drink to the server, or put it on their tray if they have multiple drinks, and go back to attending to our bar guests.”

Scott nodded and kept his mouth shut for once.

 “Usually we don’t get busy until around five or six. This isn’t the place people come to have a drink after work because this isn’t _just_ a bar. Most of our business comes from when we get busy in the restaurant, the guests will sit here and have a drink while they’re waiting for a table.”

Scott nodded again.

“We do get people bar hopping sometimes, usually they’re out celebrating a birthday or promotion or whatever. The partiers are the ones who are going to be ordering shots and fancy drinks; they’re also not very good tippers unless it’s a crowd of younger people. Don’t serve anyone who is obviously over their limit, we don’t want a lawsuit because we enabled them to get alcohol poisoning. Also, don’t forget to ID people and never, under any circumstances, give anyone underage alcohol. I don’t care if you’re friends with them, I don’t care if they look older. You will most definitely lose your job and we will lose our license to serve alcohol,” Derek said to Scott.

“But what if it’s an old lady or something?”

Derek shrugged, “Rule of thumb—card anyone who looks younger than forty. But most of the old ladies like when you card them, it makes them feel younger.”

Scott nodded. “Do they tip better if you card them?”

“Honestly, the only tactic I’ve found that actually works—besides you know, general good service and a good attitude—is flirting,” Derek said unabashedly.

“Oh my _God_ ,” Scott laughed. “You flirt with the old ladies?”

Derek laughed too, “Only sometimes. I mostly just flirt with the people I like.”

“Have you… you know, like, taken anyone home?” Scott asked.

“That’s against company policy,” said a female voice.

Derek sighed and turned around. On the other side of the bar stood an unhappy Kate Argent. “As Kate said, it’s against company policy to pick up customers while on the clock. Doesn’t stop her from doing it though,” Derek muttered.

“Jealous?” she grinned wolfishly at him.

“Not even a little. Scott, you can take your break now,” Derek said to him.

“Okay see you in thirty,” Scott said warily.

“Can I help you?” Derek asked her crossly.

Kate crossed her arms but sent a sweet smile Scott’s way as he passed by her to go on his break. “How are you enjoying our new hire? Or should I say hires?” Kate asked.

Derek wanted to roll his eyes at her but he kept his face stony and unreadable. “Scott’s doing very well so far,” he said.

“And the other one?” Kate asked with a shit-eating grin.

Derek shrugged, “Not my division.”

Kate frowned and sized Derek up behind the counter. He never did like the way her eyes raked up and down his body. She always looked at him like she hadn’t eaten in months and he was a juicy steak. “I hope it’s not an inconvenience that the Sheriff’s son is working here with you now,” she said.

“Stiles Stilinski means nothing to me,” Derek said. He tried to sound bored but he was afraid he was giving her too much information.

 Kate smirked at him then and leaned against the bar table, “Once more, with feeling.”

“It was five years ago, Kate. Do yourself a favor and get over it,” Derek said dismissively. He glanced over Kate’s shoulder to see that Stiles was watching the two of them talk. He wondered if he could hear their conversation. “All the rest of us have.”

Kate laughed and caressed Derek’s face lightly for a moment. He didn’t swat her away like he wanted to, the last time he did that he got put on a two week suspension for “hitting a co-worker”. “Oh Der-bear, you’re so cute when you’re lying,” she laughed. She patted his cheek once and removed her hand from his face.

“Do you need anything else? Or did you want to stand around and harass me a little more?” Derek asked, lifting an unimpressed eyebrow at her.

“Just wanted to see how my new employees were getting along,” Kate shrugged with a grin.

Derek only stared at her with the most apathetic expression he could muster.

“Well, I’m going to report back to my brother that they’re doing splendidly,” Kate said. She pushed herself off the bar top gently and started walking away. She then stopped, turned around, and gave Derek a wolfish grin. “You know, the Stilinski boy is kind of cute. He’s a little young, but you know I have a thing for that boyish charm,” Kate said, glancing over at Stiles who was blatantly staring at them.

“He’s gay, Kate. You’re setting yourself up for a loss already,” Derek said, trying to suppress the harshness of his tone.

“Maybe he’s just like you Derek Hale. Maybe he likes both?” Kate said and waved at Stiles who immediately started scrubbing the table he was at feverishly.

Derek rolled his eyes and dumped the beer Scott had poured out into the sink and started washing the glass out until he heard the stiletto _click clack_ of Kate’s heels fade all together.

Derek looked up from the sink and saw that Stiles was staring at him again.

He wanted to smile, he wanted to wave, he wanted to do something to let Stiles know that he acknowledges his existence.

Instead Derek frowned at him and turned his back on him, just like Stiles did to him all those years ago.

 

It’s not often that Derek wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, due to a nightmare. That statement no longer rang true, however. Once Derek and Stiles broke up, his nightmares became more frequent, more vivid, and more soul crushing than the last. This time Derek didn’t have anyone to cuddle up next to and be reassured it was only a dream. This time he didn’t have someone to call whose voice was as soothing over the phone as it was in person.

This time the nightmare wasn’t about the house fire that ripped Derek’s heart in two and killed most of his family. In fact, it wasn’t even a nightmare that startled him awake. It was a dream about Stiles.

Derek sat up in bed and stared into the vast darkness that was his bedroom. He crossed his legs and wiped his forehead clean of the sweat that gathered there. Derek sighed heavily and reached over to the nightstand and checked his phone for the time. Twelve forty- eight.

Derek put his phone back down and grabbed his pillow and hugged it around his body, as if the feeling of something in his arms would replace the ghost of Stiles he was holding in his dream. Derek wanted to cry, he wouldn’t, but he felt like it.

Derek put his pillow back in its original spot and laid down. He stared at the pitch black ceiling and wondered what it would be like to live somewhere, anywhere, that wasn’t here.

If his relationship with Stiles proved anything, it was why Derek never got serious about anyone. The closest he ever got to being serious with someone was his high school girlfriend Paige but that ended faster than it really even began, honestly.

And there was Kate but all she was ever really good for was a nice fuck. Yeah, sometimes they’d hang out after and order in pizza and watch a movie, but it was never serious. Derek never considered her anything more than a fuck buddy until Kate confessed that she had feelings for Derek. And then they became a couple, but he really didn’t have a chance to actually get to _know_ the girl because that’s when Stiles came along.

Or more accurately put, trespassed on his family’s property with his equally idiotic friend Scott. Derek was at his old house in the woods, for memory’s sake, when he found them. They were looking for a place where they could get together with their friends and have a bonfire and drink and make merry without getting caught by the cops, since they were only high school juniors at the time.

Derek naturally told them to get lost but it didn’t stop there.

He noticed Stiles around town. Everywhere. At the supermarket, at the movie theater, at the diner he frequented with Kate after sex, at the park, on the route he took when he went out for his daily run. It was all very weird and, if he was being honest, found it a little creepy but he didn’t really think much of it.

Until he bumped into him at the store while he was buying cigarettes and cheap hooch for Kate.

“Shit I’m so sorry!” Stiles apologized quickly and scrambled to pick up his gummy worms and Red Bull from the floor. Derek heard him mutter something about being glad nothing exploded on the floor.

“It’s… okay,” Derek said, he was amused but he kept his face stony. He liked his intimidation factor he perfected over the years. “I’ve been seeing you around… a lot… it was only a matter of time that we bumped into each other, I guess.”

Stiles blushed furiously at that, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t, like, intentionally following you but-”

Derek nearly laughed, but frowned instead, “I’m sorry, what? You’ve been following me?”

“I’m not trying to be creepy,” Stiles said, adjusting the items he was carrying in his arms. “It’s just that, uh, my friend Scott has been ditching me a lot lately for his girlfriend Allison? And I’ve been getting out of the house a lot more since we’re not playing video games in my basement anymore.”

Derek gave him a very skeptical look, he wasn’t sure if he was amused anymore.

“I’m not stalking you! I’m just around… more...? And, okay and you’re, like, blindingly hot so sometimes I show up at the places you frequent to… look at you,” Stiles blurted.

Derek half smiled at him. “Thanks, I guess? That’s easily the weirdest compliment I’ve ever gotten, but I do have a girlfriend… or whatever so don’t try to make this a thing,” he told him.

“Would you…” Stiles fidgeted with the lid on the gummy worm container, “would you be interested if you didn’t have a girlfriend? Like… would you want me to make this a thing?”

Derek rolled his eyes, “I’m at least five years older than you, kid. Even if I was interested in men, I don’t think I’d want to date a boy who was still in high school.”

Stiles beamed at him, “I’m not so sure about that.”

 Before Derek could clarify, he was gone in a blink of an eye.

That wasn’t the last time he would be hearing from Stiles Stilinski, either, mind you. Whenever he saw him out and about, Stiles would come up to him, compliment him, talk with him for a minute or two, and leave. It happened maybe once every day or two and it’s not that he really _minded_ the attention- who doesn’t like to be told they’re hotter than Ryan Gosling on a daily basis?- but it was his growing affection for the boy that he minded.

Before he knew it, Derek was handing this boy his phone number so they could have a proper conversation.

Before he knew it, he was going over to this boy’s house when his dad wasn’t home- “the Sheriff probably wouldn’t like that a twenty-two year old, sex on a stick was hanging around his underage son”.

Before he knew it, he found himself wondering all sorts of things about this boy. What his favorite color was, how long he and Scott had been best friends for, what his hopes and dreams were, why he didn’t let anyone else know how intelligent he was, if he would ever stop being so funny, if his whole body was covered in those moles, what it would be like to kiss his plump lips.

Before he knew it, he found himself breaking up with Kate and asking out this seventeen year old jailbait, interesting boy Stiles Stilinski—yes even though his father was intimidating as all hell.

Before he knew it, Derek was falling in love with his boyfriend who was probably too young for such a serious relationship but they were so in love. Nothing else mattered.

Until Stiles completely shattered his world in one lethal exchange of words on a dark, rainy night back in May two years ago.

Derek flipped over onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow. He wondered if he would ever be whole again.

 

That morning, Erica and Derek met up at the park for their daily run around the neighborhood. Erica was dating Isaac while Derek and Stiles were together and they broke up shortly before Stiles and Derek did. They grew close as they realized they were both bitter, heartbroken people who were both desperate and lonely enough to give the unlikely friendship a shot. As it turns out, they got along really well.

Not three seconds into greeting each other and taking off on their route, Derek started whining about Stiles.

“I told you not to date him,” Erica said unabashedly. “I knew he was going to ruin you emotionally but you _never_ listen to me.”

“Yeah well at the time I thought you were still bitter that he didn’t want to date you,” Derek said. “Shit we forgot to stretch.”

“Oh well, it’s too late now. Anyway I _was_ still bitter,” Erica sighed as they rounded the corner out of the park to run through town. “But I wasn’t about to miraculously grow a dick just so I could date him.”

Derek huffed out a laugh through his nose.

“I still can’t believe he got a job where you work though,” Erica said. “That’s a little stalkerish, no?

“Stiles has always been a little stalkerish when it comes to me,” Derek sighed. “Like, his incessant stalking is the whole reason we got together in the first place.”

“Giving your stalker your number wasn’t your smartest move either,” Erica chided.

“How many times have we been over this?” Derek groaned. He stutter-stepped when he realized they would be running past Stiles’ house and now since he was home for the summer… Derek was hoping he wasn’t home. “It’s not like Stiles was _dangerous_. He was funny and nice and cute and awkward as all hell. I was endeared.”

“Why don’t I just go ahead and put an ad on Craigslist for you then?” Erica said, her voice disguising a laugh. “The ad will say ‘Will take you out on date if you casually stalk him for a month straight. Guys and girls alike, Derek Hale is apparently not choosy’.”

Derek stifled a laugh just as they were about to turn down Stiles’ road. “So, get this, Kate was the one who actually hired them in.”

“Not surprising,” Erica said.

“She did it on purpose, she’s still pissed that I dumped her half a decade ago. According to her friend Sally she wants to hit me where it hurts,” Derek said. “She came around yesterday and dangled the fact that she hired him in my face like it was a bone and I was a starving dog.”

Erica scoffed, “That woman is a sociopath. Even Allison will admit to that.”

Derek nodded in agreement. “That’s not the worst part though, she told me she was thinking about going after Stiles.”

“Disgusting.”

They jogged in silence for a minute or two until Erica broke the silence. “Shit- Derek Stiles is home for the summer! It’s going to look fucking creepy running past his house together,” she exclaimed.

“That thought crossed my mind about five minutes ago,” Derek sighed. “Too bad there’s not sidewalk on the other side of the road though. We’ll be running through his yard practically.”

“There’s no way I’m going to stop and explain to him that we thought it would be therapeutic for you to run past his house mumbling mean things about him as we passed,” she said.

“We don’t even do that anymore- running past his house is just routine now,” Derek shook his head. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair and wondered if Stiles was home and hoped he wasn’t.

Erica stopped running and put her hand out to stop Derek as well. They were only a few houses away from Stiles’. “Just… he couldn’t see us from here, right?”

“Right.”

“And it’s what? Nine-thirty? If he is up he probably isn’t going to be outside this early,” Erica reasoned.

“If he is up, he’s probably eating breakfast at the table that overlooks the window to his front yard and, coincidentally, the road that goes by his house,” Derek said, trying to offer up any information that would help Erica with the plan she was most likely forming in her head.

Erica grinned widely and clapped her hands together excitedly. “On the off chance that he is staring out his window hoping you’ll walk past, we might as well put on a show for him,” her eyes glinted with a certain kind of mischief that Derek knew would get him into trouble.

“What do you have in mind?” Derek asked.

“Your shirt needs to be off and you need to be sweaty. Do some push-ups while I explain the rest to you,” Erica demanded.

Derek did what he was told and pulled his shirt over his head and dropped to the ground, doing one-handed push-ups because they are harder to do.

Erica wolf-whistled at him.

“Shut up and tell me the rest,” Derek barked.

“Sour-wolf,” Erica deadpanned. She continued when she saw Derek roll his eyes at Stiles’ old nickname for him. “So, Stiles hasn’t seen you in years- aside from yesterday right? These are rhetorical questions, please don’t interrupt my genius to answer them. Remember how Stiles used to joke that he “sexed you up so good and so often, you’d forget about women all together” or whatever? Wouldn’t it piss him off to see you flirting with someone else? Especially since he’s always been so insecure that you were going to leave him for a woman.”

“Yeah he never understood why someone as attractive as I am would want to date someone like him, when there are thousands of girls out there that are “prettier” than him.”

“Let’s not forget that you have a _type_ ,” Erica snickered. “You constantly go after these _strong_ and independent women who are complete ball busters.”

“Stiles thought that if I met a woman who wanted me, she’d just tell him she was going to take me even if I didn’t want her,” Derek scoffed and panted. He was in shape but push-ups were not his favorite. “And that he’d have to let me go because he’s not about to tell a woman like that no.”

Erica laughed. “Stiles is ridiculous, he always let his imagination get the better of him. As if you ever would have left him,” she said.

“I would have loved him for all my life if he would have let me,” Derek stopped the push-ups and stood up to meet Erica’s gaze. “So what you were saying is we need to flirt with each other while we’re running past his house, because he was always insecure that I was going to leave him for another woman?”

“Yes! That would make him so mad, right?” Erica grinned wickedly. “You know Stiles has always assumed the worst, he probably would convince himself that you were never bisexual in the first place.”

Derek stayed silent as he considered the proposition.

“It would add more insult to injury to make him think that you moved on to someone he used to consider one of his closest friends, too,” Erica said. “We used to talk to each other about how hot you are _all_ the time.”

Derek scrunched his nose up, “You’re like my sister.”

“ _Now_ ,” Erica argued. “Before you were just the hot, _older_ piece of ass Stiles was boning.”

“Fine, okay, so we’re doing this,” Derek muttered to himself. “Stiles always begged me to give him piggy-back rides but since he wasn’t seven years old, I’d refuse. Maybe I should give you one?”

“So… okay, so you jog ahead a little bit and see if Stiles is even up and around. I’ll come running out of nowhere and jump on your back screaming and laughing and flirting with you or whatever. That way, if he’s not looking he will be. I love to cause a commotion,” Erica laughed with a wink.

“Okay… let’s just do this,” Derek said.

“I’m going to put your shirt on for good measure,” Erica said and snatched the t-shirt out of his hands.

Derek shrugged and started jogging again, his heart was hammering against his ribcage and he was finding it hard to breathe with the nerves wracking through his body. It wasn’t likely that Stiles would even be _up_ , he was never a morning person.

Just as Derek looked back to check on Erica, who gave him a thumbs up, he started running past Stiles’ property. Derek couldn’t help but think that the stalk-ee has now become the stalker.

Derek intended to laugh at his stupid thought but what came out of his mouth was a small whine. As luck would have it, though Derek wasn’t sure that it was actual luck, Stiles was unpacking boxes and totes and duffle bags worth of college stuff from his Jeep.

Stiles was face first in the backseat but he must’ve heard Derek’s strangled noise because he turned to face the person with a smile wrapped around the PopTart that was crammed in his mouth.

Derek stopped completely, totally blindsided that he was only _feet_ away from Stiles and that he looked as dumbstruck as Derek did. His smile turned to a frown but that didn’t stop him from ogling Derek’s shirtless torso like he hadn’t seen a shirtless man in his life.

Derek opened his mouth to say something when a solid body jumped onto his back and kissed his cheek. It didn’t escape his notice that the PopTart was no longer in Stiles’ mouth, but on the pavement. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

“Okay but you totally cheated,” Erica giggled into Derek’s ear, “You took off on one not three like we agreed.”

Remembering the plan, Derek turned his face towards Erica and offered the most genuine smile he could muster. “Sorry,” he said clumsily.

“Oh… uh, hi Stiles!” Erica said feigning awkwardness as Derek hooked his arms around her legs. “I didn’t know you were home from school… um.”

“Uh- yeah,” Stiles said, looking from Derek to Erica a few times, too confused to say anything else.

Derek could almost see the wheels in his mind turning, working in overdrive trying to make sense out of this exchange. “Anyway…” Derek said, clearing his throat. “We should probably get going.”

“Yeah,” he said lamely.

“Sour-Wolf is right,” Erica agreed.

Stiles said nothing and dropped his gaze to the ground, and gently nudged his kamikaze PopTart with toe of his Converse. He looked really kind of… sad. Derek wanted to hug him.

Erica tugged on Derek’s ear gently and said, “Let’s go, I want to be home and get a shower before The Price Is Right comes on. See you around!”

Derek fake chuckled and took off with Erica on his back, who started running her hands through Derek’s hair as he jogged on.

It wasn’t until they were two blocks away when Erica finally climbed off his back.

“Okay but did that totally work or not?” she laughed and went up for a high five.

Derek high fived her back, but only half-heartedly. “I think it worked but now I just feel like shit.”

“But did you see the look on his face when I ran up?”

“I did, and he looked hurt and confused and surprised and… I feel like total shit and you called me Sour-Wolf right in front of him?” Derek seethed, “That was a low blow, that’s a Stiles thing only and you know that.”

“I thought it would get a rise out of him,” Erica said, an apologetic note to her tone.

“Look… I think I just want to finish the run by myself today,” Derek said. “What we did back there was uncalled for.” He turned away from his friend and started jogging away from her.

“You’re going to thank me later when it works,” Erica called out to him. “And you’ll owe me when you two get back together!”

Derek shook his head at her, not believing a single word coming out of her mouth.

 

Derek was training Scott again tonight and, like yesterday, Allison was training Stiles. Derek wondered if it was weird for Scott that his ex was training his best friend, while his best friend’s ex was training him. This had Kate’s wretched stench written all over it and Derek was annoyed.

Stiles hadn’t looked over at Derek once and their shifts started two hours ago.

It was weird however, that Scott came back from his break with Stiles much chattier than he was before. None of it was work related however, he was trying to talk to Derek about his personal life. Which. No. Derek didn’t even like to do that with his regular co-workers, let alone with _Scott_.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that you’re training me?” Scott asked him as they started to take the barstools down from the counter. It was almost opening time.

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Scott said. He took his eyes off his work to look at Derek directly.

“It doesn’t have to be weird,” Derek said, hoping that the small indulgence he gave him would be enough to shut him up.

 “I think it’s weird that Allison is training Stiles,” Scott said. “Like, I’m not comfortable with it, things ended badly and I always worry that she’s talking major crap about me to Stiles.”

“I guess I don’t concern myself with trivial worries like that,” Derek grunted as he took the last barstool down.

“Trivial,” Scott scoffed as they made their way back behind the bar. “I don’t think Stiles-”

“Look, Scott,” Derek snapped as politely as he could, “I know he is your best friend and I know he is someone that we have in common, but he is your best friend and my ex-boyfriend. I don’t really want to talk about him, I don’t want to hear about him. Got it?”

Scott shrugged, “I wasn’t trying to get you to talk about your past with Stiles, I was just trying to open up about my past with Allison.”

“Why do you think I care?” Derek asked, turning on the neon “BAR” sign that hung beside all the shelves of different glasses.

 Scott leaned up against the counter and squared up to Derek. “Look, dude, I don’t really like the whole sour, um, I mean rude demeanor you have. We used to be friends once upon a time, I’m just trying to connect again. I don’t want it to be awkward.”

“Connect?” Derek snorted.

“I figured we could connect because we’re both two heartbroken dudes and the people we used to love are only fifty feet away from us,” Scott said with a shrug. “It sucks.”

“You should’ve tried to “connect” with me about heartbreak years ago Scott, I’m over it,” Derek said, glancing over at Stiles and Allison.

Scott followed his gaze. “Maybe you are, but I’m not. I came back to Beacon Hills to win her back and I’m not going to stop until I do. Or until she punches me in the face because I won’t leave her alone,” Scott said.

“Do you think she’d take you back?” Derek asked, surveying the restaurant to see if any customers walked in. Chris had mentioned it was supposed to be slow again tonight. “I mean, you did cheat on her with that Kira girl from school.”

Scott gave Derek a quizzical look.

“What?” Derek shrugged. “It happened right when Allison started working here full time, not a soul in this joint hasn’t heard her bitching about you.”

Scott grimaced, “She vouched for me to get the job though.”

“Just because you’re a shit boyfriend, doesn’t mean you’re a shit worker,” he shrugged. “Plus, you know Kate has always had a soft spot for you.”

He sighed, “I suppose you’re right.” Scott started wiping down the already clean counter, but at least he was doing some work in the down time.

“Why didn’t you go back to working for Deacan?” Derek asked after a moment of silence.

“He got my position at the clinic filled relatively quickly once I left. Some freshman in high school who’s good with animals, you know, someone like me,” Scott laughed. “He said I needed a more adult job anyway.”

“That would’ve looked really good on your resume though.”

Scott nodded, “But Stiles _really_ wanted me to work with him and this was the only place that was hiring for two positions.”

Derek nodded.

Five or ten minutes later, Allison had walked past the bar to go on break and Scott waved at her. She offered a small smile in return but kept walking.

Scott threw his towel over his shoulder, turned to Derek, and said, “I can’t believe I haven’t been able to get over her. That smile still makes me weak in the knees.”

Derek glanced at Stiles who was taking a senior citizen couple’s order. He was about to respond back when Chris came walking up to the bar and Scott crouched behind the bar, in hopes that he wouldn’t see him.

Chris dropped a brown paper bag on the bar and said, “Hello Derek, hello Scott. Please get off the floor, that doesn’t look professional.”

“Sorry sir,” Scott mumbled as he stood up.

“What’s this?” Derek gestured to the bag.

“A girl named Erica hunted me down to give this to you. She said it’s your lunch that you forgot at home,” Chris asked more than he stated.

“Oh… yeah, right,” Derek sighed, he figured it was probably a piece of apology pie. It was a tradition they’ve been doing ever since their first fight when Derek accidentally on purpose broke a pie crust Erica spent all day perfecting last year for Thanksgiving.

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you two know that I’m going to be heading out for the night. It’s supposed to be slow but if you need something Kate and I are only a phone call away,” Chris said. “Have a good night boys.”

“You too, sir,” Derek said and took the brown paper bag off the counter and put it on the counter underneath the bar top.

“So… you and Erica?” Scott asked, quirking an eyebrow up.

“It’s nothing,” Derek denied too quickly. “It’s just a peace offering, we got into a fight today and this is her way of saying she’s sorry.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Paradise? What?”

Scott rubbed the back of his neck and Derek could see he was trying to pick his words carefully. “Well… Stiles told me about your little… run in and he said it looked like you guys were together. I was just assuming that you were,” he said carefully.

“Erica is like the little sister I never wanted,” Derek clarified.

Scott nodded.

“And if this is your roundabout way of asking me if she and I are together for Stiles, you can let him know that what he saw today was Erica being an asshole,” he said curtly.

“It was, actually,” Scott said. “Truth be told he was really pissed. He said, and I quote, “It’s one thing to show up on my lawn unannounced, shirtless and glistening, but it’s totally another to flaunt his relationship simultaneously. She called him Sour-Wolf, that was _my_ thing.” Honestly I think that’s what pissed him off the most.”

Derek tried to suppress a smile, but he failed. “Like I said, she was being an asshole.”

“Why were you stalking him in the first place?”

“Oh no, no, no,” Derek said to him with a laugh, “I know everything that comes out of my mouth will be repeated back to Stiles. I’m not going to fall for that Scott.”

“Scout’s honor I won’t tell!” Scott said. “You’re not planning on murdering him are you? Stiles once said you kind of seem like the murder-y type.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “I’m only going to say that I’m not planning on murdering him.”

Scott let the subject drop, which Derek was so thankful for. Things got better as the night drew on, they had a fairly slow night but it was just steady enough to have to keep conversation professional as to not upset the customers.

 

Derek was in the middle of reading a note Erica left with her piece of cherry apology pie when Scott brought it back up again. They closed thirty minutes early but Derek wanted to make sure he got his full nine hours so he sat down to eat his pie and read Erica’s apology note.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me?” Scott asked.

Derek ignored him in favor of concentrating on the note that said:

_Der-Bear:_

_I am an asshole and I’m really sorry, which you can already tell. If my plan worked, and I think it did, Scott has probably already told you that Stiles got mad at us today and he’s probably annoying you with questions. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell him what you’re feeling? I always have trusted Scott and if you get him to promise not to tell Stiles, I’m sure he wouldn’t. I love you brother, but it’s hard to hear you bitch about him all the time. It’s healthy to vent to multiple people._

_-Erica_

“Come on man, I just want to be friends with you again, _please_ just tell me,” Scott whined. “I just want to reconnect.”

“Maybe try talking to me about something other than my ex-boyfriend who doubles as your best friend,” Derek grumbled and shoved Erica’s note into his pants pocket.

“But that stuff isn’t interesting.”

“Fine,” Derek said, tossing the fork back into the bag with the untouched pie. He couldn’t catch a break. “But if I tell you and I find out that somehow it got back to Stiles, I will literally murder you.”

“You can trust me,” Scott said happily.

Derek pointed to the seat next to him and Scott sat down all too eager. “After you guys moved away to UCLA I found myself jogging past Stiles’ house every morning because I was so sad he was gone. Erica and I became friends shortly after and she suggested that it might help me cope if, when I jogged past, I would curse the day he was born and crap like that. It helped, actually, and Erica eventually joined me on runs and then… I dunno one day I stopped doing it but I still ran past,” Derek said.

It kind of amazed him how familiar this felt. Whenever he had a problem with Stiles, he’d go complain to Scott about it because he knew him the best and he always gave the best Stiles advice. It was weird to him how easy this felt to open up to him all over again.

“It became routine, I run past his house every time I jog. The Sheriff always said hi, sometimes I’d stand and chat with him for a while. It was never a problem until you guys moved back. So today Erica and I were running and I realized that, oh shit you guys are back, and she thought it would be interesting to see if we could make him jealous,” Derek admitted.

“That… is kind of shitty actually,” Scott frowned.

“I know!” Derek exclaimed loudly. So loudly, in fact, Stiles and Allison’s last table of the night turned and looked at the pair, as did the both of them. “I know,” Derek sad in a hushed tone. “I felt so shitty after it that I yelled at Erica for talking me into it. I wanted to apologize but I didn’t know how. I can barely look at the kid without feeling like I’m being stabbed repeatedly.”

“Holy shit you’re not over him, are you?” Scott realized.

Derek scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. “Stiles is the love of my life,” he said. “I mean, you _do_ know why we broke up, right?”

“Because you didn’t want to do the long distance thing?” Scott asked.

“Unbelievable,” Derek huffed. Of course Stiles didn’t tell him the truth, why would he? “ _No_. I wanted to do the long distance, I wanted to _go_ the distance. I wanted to be with him forever and he all but threw the ring back into my face.”

“You _fucking proposed_?” Scott whispered in disbelief. “And all this time I thought you guys broke up because UCLA was too far away from Beacon Hills.”

He shook his head sadly, “No, it’s because Stiles couldn’t “do” that kind of commitment and he wanted to explore his other options.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No man, it’s fine,” Derek said offering him a watery smile. “I’m Derek Hale, the boy who lost everything, remember?

“Derek—”

“Look, Scott, not to sound overdramatic? But I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be happy. I am brooding boy of Beacon Hills with shit luck who lost his whole family, life, home. It only makes sense for me to have lost my fiancé too,” he sighed.

Scott’s voice cracked when he spoke, “Derek-”

“I appreciate you listening to whine about my life, but I want to go home and Chris is going to kill me if he knows I’m on the clock and not doing shit,” Derek said, checking his watch. And he was kicking himself for telling Scott too much and he wanted to curl up in a ball of misery because he knows he’s going to tell Stiles everything, even though he promised not to.

“No, man you can’t leave after a confession like that,” Scott said. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“That’s the thing, though right? I’ve been alone since I was sixteen and my house burned to the ground with my whole family in it,” Derek said, shrugging on his coat. Derek wanted to become very, very small at this exact moment and he couldn’t stand being here for much longer. “You can take the pie for Stiles, it’s his favorite.”

“Cherry?”

“I have the next few days off,” Derek said, ignoring Scott’s obvious question. “A guy named Boyd will be training you while I’m gone.”

“Derek,” Scott said, grabbing his arm and stopping him. “Are you going to be okay?”

Derek removed Scott’s hand from his arm. “Probably. Eventually. Not right now, at least,” he said. “All I need is more time.”

 

Truthfully Derek felt very silly for opening up like that to Scott, he practically bared his whole entire soul to him and he regretted every single word he said to him. Which is exactly what he said to Erica the moment he called her when he got out of work.

_“Derek I was sleeping.”_

“It’s only nine-thirty!” Derek huffed at her as he slid into his Camaro.

_“Oh…”_ there was a beat of silence on her end. _“I guess I didn’t realize that. Huh, and all this time I thought I went to bed at nine because I have to be up at four-thirty to open the bakery tomorrow at six.”_

“Sorry,” Derek grimaced as he turned the key, turning the AC up to full blast. “I forgot it was Thursday.”

Derek could practically hear Erica roll her eyes at him. _“Do you have any other monumental news for me? Because I would really like to not drag ass at work tomorrow.”_

“Stiles lied to Scott about why we broke up,” Derek whispered, he could barely believe it himself. Just then, Derek watched Allison hold the door open for the last patrons of the night so they could go home. Maybe he should go home too. He wasn’t sure if he was emotionally stable enough yet to drive.

Or, that was what he was telling himself. He knew he was just waiting around to see if Scott and Stiles would walk out together, see if Scott would tell Stiles everything Derek had said.

_“You’re fucking joking! What did he tell Scott?”_

“That I didn’t want to do the long distance,” he replied.

_“Bullshit! You proposed and he wanted to see if something, or someone, better was out there!”_

Derek shrugged and picked at a loose thread coming out from the stitching on his steering wheel. “I think he was probably playing the victim whenever anybody asked.”

_“No wonder Allison and Isaac got so mad at me when I became friends with you. They thought you broke Stiles’ heart.”_

“I suppose it works better that way. Think about it: skinny, defenseless Stiles gets heart broken by cold, callous Derek sounds much more believable than skinny, defenseless Stiles turns down cold, callous Derek’s marriage proposal,” he mused.

_“You may be difficult to talk to sometimes but Derek, you’re a catch. You could propose to Lydia Martin and she’d, at the very least, consider it.”_

“Which is why the long distance narrative makes more sense,” he agreed. “Even when Stiles and I were together, I’d hear people saying that I could do so much better or that Stiles wasn’t attractive or good enough to date me. Is it possible that Stiles thought that people wouldn’t believe that _he_ turned _me_ down?”

_“Maybe that’s why he lied to Scott and everyone else. Or maybe it was easier for him to paint you as the bad guy so that he wouldn’t lose his friends, the only people who were going to_ college _with him. No one wants to be friendless and alone at a strange place far from home.”_

Derek sighed and watched as the front doors to Silver open and saw Allison walk out to her car, shortly followed by Scott and Stiles and a couple of the cooks whose names he’d never cared to learn.

“Erica I think I’ve reached a new level of creepy,” Derek wanted to laugh at himself. “I think I inadvertently waited for Stiles to get out of work tonight.”

_“You haven’t left yet? It’s nearly ten o’clock.”_

“You’re right, I should probably go home,” he agreed. “I’ll talk to you when you get out of work tomorrow.”

Derek hung up the phone just in time to see Scott handing Stiles the bag that contained Erica’s apology pie. It was too dark to see what either of them were saying, but Stiles took the bag and looked inside. He watched as Stiles threw the bag onto the ground and started yelling at Scott.

Derek shook his head and drove out of the parking lot, wondering why he was still lingering around in a town that had nothing left for him.

 

“Hey man how was work?” a bright cheery voice called after him.

He stopped and turned around to greet his best friend with a frown. “I don’t really want to talk to you right now, but we carpooled here so you’re going to drive me home and not ask me any questions,” Scott said as they walked out the doors of the restaurant.

“I have two questions and then I’ll shut up,” Stiles said with a concerned expression on his face.

“Fine,” Scott sighed.

“Okay first: what is in the brown paper bag? I saw Chris bring it to… the, uh bar,” Stiles said.

“It’s a gift for you actually,” Scott said handing it over. “It’s cherry pie from the bakery just down the road.”

“Cool,” Stiles said happily until, “wait the one where _Erica_ works at?”

“Well originally it was a peace offering from her to Derek but he said he didn’t want it and told me to give it to you,” Scott shrugged.

Scott watched as Stiles threw the bag onto the ground, fully stopping in the middle of the parking lot. The last car, save for his own, pulled out of the parking lot just ahead of them and Stiles finally felt comfortable to yell at him. “Are you joking me? You gave me food that my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend gave to him? How insensitive are you?” Stiles asked, clearly infuriated.

“Don’t you mean ex-fiancé?” Scott spat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

Stiles visibly paled and stumbled back as if Scott’s words physically pushed him. “W-what did you say?” he whispered.

“Derek told me everything, you ass,” Scott snarled. “It’s one thing to go through a bad break up, I get that Stiles. What I don’t understand is why you would _lie_ to me, your _best friend_ about it!”

“How am I supposed to admit that I was engaged for a week-”

“Wait, excuse me, you were actually _engaged_?” Scott asked in disbelief. “Derek only told me that he proposed and you all but threw the ring back in his face!”

Stiles whole demeanor crumpled as his eyes welled up with tears. “I can’t do this,” he whimpered.

“Stiles Stilinski you tell me the whole story and you tell me the _truth_ or I’m not going to ask Derek any more questions for you,” Scott said sternly.

Stiles puffed out his bottom lip and sighed. “Fine,” he said and wiped his eyes. “Derek proposed to me the night we graduated and I said yes because I loved him and I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. We were going to tell everyone the news after everyone stopped buzzing about college and things settled down. Jackson noticed that I was wearing a ring and… he got into my head, basically. He told me it wasn’t a good idea to get married so young because what if someone better came along?”

Scott groaned, “Stiles you did _not_ let that jerk convince you that someone better for you than Derek would come along did you?”

Stiles looked to the ground and sniffed. “What he was saying made a lot of sense and I guess it didn’t help that I was already nervous that we were taking things too fast. I mean I had _just_ graduated and I hadn’t even made up my mind about joining the force with Dad or going to UCLA. So I told Derek about my concerns and then he got mad and we got into an argument and I told him I wanted to explore my options and Derek said he wasn’t aware that I had other options and we kept arguing and things just escalated really quickly and got out of hand and then I literally threw the ring back into his face,” he said softly. “And I told him the engagement was off and that… that I could do way better than the town’s tragic disaster Derek Hale.”

“Dude,” Scott breathed. “You did not throw that in his face.”

Stiles refused to make eye contact. “Look, I didn’t mean to but I was so mad- like as mad as Allison got when she found you and Kira together in bed,” he confessed. “At first I really believed that I could find someone… better?”

“Dude. Derek was the greatest thing to ever happen to you and you just let him _go_ , you were not going to find anything better than him because he’s the best. And now he’s going to find someone else,” Scott said putting a comforting hand on Stiles’ shoulder.

Stiles looked up at Scott then, “So what you’re telling me is that he and Erica really are together?”

Scott sucked his tooth, “I don’t think I’m going to tell you.”

Stiles flailed a little. “Why not?”

“I don’t know, why did you lie to me?” Scott asked, quirking an eyebrow up at him.

Stiles sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes, as it had fallen a little. “Look, I realized that I messed up the second I did it, but I was too proud to go back and tell Derek I was sorry. And then I realized how much shit I would get from you guys when I told you the whole story and… I just figured that it would be better if I told you he didn’t want to do long distance. I felt like you guys would think I didn’t deserve to be as heartbroken as I am if you knew _I_ broke it off,” Stiles said in a nervous breath.

“Dude we wouldn’t have tried to tell you how to feel after a breakup, no matter who messed it up,” Scott said. “But Stiles? I’ve never seen Derek in such a bad place since the fire. He literally told me he didn’t deserve to be happy with you because his whole life is a tragedy. We all stopped talking to him when we found out you guys broke up, it’s no wonder he hates all of us.”

Stiles dropped his head in shame. “Not Erica,” he grumbled.

“Look we can either stand here and you can mutter more about Derek and Erica _or_ we can get into your Jeep so you can drive me home and I can tell you all the information that I know,” Scott said, looking around the parking lot. He was tired and he had found out a lot of information in a very short period of time and all he wanted to do was sleep. Maybe text Allison and then sleep.

 Stile’s demeanor brightened only slightly and he all but ran to his Jeep. Scott was hardly even buckled before Stiles started speaking.

“So tell me everything you know,” he said.

“Well as you know Erica brought him pie,” Scott said, “so I asked him about it. He said it was a piece of apology pie so I asked if there was trouble in paradise which he denied really quickly and then he told me she’s the little sister he never wanted. There’s nothing you have to worry about there.”

Stiles let out the biggest relieved sigh Scott’s ever heard in his life. “I was worried he was genuinely over me and moved on,” Stiles said. “Let alone to Erica, she had the biggest crush on me back in high school.”

“You can’t deny that she’s gorgeous though,” Scott pointed out. “She’s definitely Derek’s type, you know how much he loves strong women who are a little crazy. I mean he used to fuck Kate Argent on the regular.”

“But he left Kate for _me_ ,” he protested, eyes trained on the road. Scott knew Stiles was always… tense when the topic of Kate came up, but now he seemed pissed.

Scott shrugged, “We know Derek saw something special in you, he openly admitted that he didn’t get serious about the people he was seeing and he _proposed_ to you.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“But dude, you broke his heart and threw his promise to love you forever back in his face, I don’t think he’d even consider taking you back,” Scott reminded him.

“I did _not_ leave Los Angeles to get him back,” Stiles growled. “I came back to get closure, that’s all.”

“Then why were you so concerned that he had moved on to Erica?”

Stiles didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride home.

 

**Scott McCall**

<< Yo we need to talk

**Erica Reyes**

>> Scott it is damn near midnight and we haven’t talked in literal Y E A R S, what the fuck do you need?

>> Sorry, it’s just that I have to be up at four-thirty so please make this quick.

**Scott McCall**

<< This is kind of important, it’s about Derek and Stiles

**Erica Reyes**

>> …I’m listening.

**Scott McCall**

<< Derek and Stiles are both very clearly still in love with each other still and they’re both super miserable without the other

<< I /know/ Stiles won’t reach out to Derek

**Erica Reyes**

>> Derek won’t either.

**Scott McCall**

<< So what I’m thinking is that we need to get those two idiots back together

<< Or at least, give them the nudge they both need to be together again

**Erica Reyes**

>> I like the way you think ;)

>> What’s the plan?

 

Derek couldn’t sleep. Not that he couldn’t, but that he didn’t want to. His nightmares had been getting worse within the last few days and they were becoming much more vivid, to the point where he wasn’t sure if he was still dreaming even after he woke up. The nightmares he had about the fire were something of the past, seeing as he worked through them with his therapist for years until they subsided. The nightmares he had now consisted of mainly beautiful hazel eyes, long slender fingers, plush lips that trailed down the column of Derek’s throat…

Waking up from a nightmare about Stiles wasn’t exactly easy for Derek, but waking up without Stiles was harder.

 

It was 12:37 pm when Derek woke to the sound of someone banging on his door with full force and ringing the doorbell repeatedly. Something Derek hated and something he was _sure_ Erica would do to get back at him for waking her up last night.

He rolled out of bed and padded across his bedroom and through the living room. He did not expect to see Scott McCall of all people, mid knock, when he opened his door.

“What the fuck?” Derek asked.

“Good afternoon sunshine,” Scott rolled his eyes at Derek and leaned against his doorframe.

“Forgive me, but you can’t just show up at my apartment unannounced and- wait, how do you even know where I live?” Derek asked, more confused now than angry.

“I wanted to come check on you,” Scott shrugged against the frame. “May I come in?”

Derek nodded and wished he’d had the chance to brush his teeth before company came over. Scott walked past Derek, crowding into his space for a millisecond as he passed him, which was something Stiles did whenever he came to see Derek at his old place.

Before they were dating, it was just a brush of shoulders and some awkward, heavy eye-contact and after they were dating it was purposeful crowding and kissing and _urgency_.

When Derek was apartment hunting after the breakup, after Stiles moved away, he’d insisted his apartment had to have a wide front door so that would never happen again. Of course, it was an oddly specific request and Derek ended up settling with the standard door width. It wasn’t like the extra space would make him forget any faster anyhow.

“So…” Derek started and watched Scott as he surveyed his surroundings.

“This apartment is unusually homey. Have you gone and started living a domesticated life, Derek?” he asked, his smile was open and teasing.

“I spent most of my time in my apartment,” Derek offered, narrowing his gaze at the boy. Why was he acting so friendly? Why did he care how Derek was doing? It didn’t matter if they were friends in the past, no friend of an ex was ever this chipper to see the person that broke their friend’s heart. Even if it was the other way around.

“Anyway,” Scott said, “I wanted to check on you because you seemed really down last night when we were talking. I’m glad I did, you look like hell.”

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” Derek said, unconsciously rubbing his eyes as he did so.

“Oh- shit, did you have company or something?” Scott’s eyes widened to the size of a saucers and he looked around to make sure no one else was there. Derek wanted to punch him.

“ _No_ ,” Derek said firmly. “I’ve been, uh, having nightmares.”

Scott looked decidedly embarrassed. “Sorry I shouldn’t have assumed. Sucks about the nightmares though,” he said and shoved his hands into the pockets of his khaki shorts.

He shrugged, “No harm no foul, I suppose. Thanks for checking up on me but I really am fine, just tired and I’d like to catch up on the sleep I’ve missed out on this past week.”

“Yeah, okay,” Scott said. “Um, by the way I wasn’t lying about wanting to reconnect with you or whatever. I’d like us to be friends again, if possible? It would make working with you much easier if I knew you didn’t hate me.”

Whatever resentment Derek had for Scott after the breakup was long gone by now. “I don’t hate you, not anymore. I understand why you took Stiles’ side, I would do the same for Erica. Even if she was in the wrong,” he said quietly.

“Derek,” Scott said with a sad smile, “This isn’t the end.”

“I know,” Derek said, furling his eyebrows at him. “You’re not going to see me in any obituaries any time soon; I’m not on a mission to destroy myself. I know it will get better. I’m not sad anymore, I’m just kind of really fucking bitter. Heartbroken, pissed, bitter, whatever you want to call it.”

“Understood,” Scott said, holding his hands palm side up in defense. “Just. There’s still hope, don’t give up. This is not the end.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Because I’m Stiles’ best friend, I can’t tell you much more than do _not_ give up on him, there is still hope,” Scott said with the most serious expression Derek has ever seen on his face before.

Derek opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was hot air.

“Anyway, I’ve gotta run. Stiles is in the car waiting for me to come back from “looking at an apartment to rent”. He’s got no idea that this is your place. See you at work on Saturday? I think it’s me, you, and someone named Malia bartending,” Scott said.

“Yeah it’s supposed to be busy,” Derek said, not really focusing on the conversation at hand. _Because I’m Stiles’ best friend_ and _don’t give up hope_ were still ringing in his ears. He opened the door to let Scott out.

“See you later!”

“Scott,” Derek said, stopping the boy in his tracks. He felt the lie pass his lips before he had time to process what he was even saying, “I don’t want Stiles back.”

“Hmm,” Scott said, considering him. “That’s what Stiles said too. See you around!”

 

 It happened a week later. Scott was finally fully trained and he was mixing drinks like a champion and pouring beer like he was born to do it. Which was amazing and a relief because the bar was packed and the restaurant was even busier.

Derek was in the process of blending a strawberry daiquiri for a particularly pretty blonde girl who was out with her friends on a girl’s night. Derek knew if he flirted with her a little and gave her _the_ _eyes_ she’d tip well enough for him to make enough money off tips alone tonight to pay for half his rent. People have been really generous tonight, possibly because he and Scott are handling the rush particularly well or possibly because he and Scott have great chemistry.

Derek’s ego likes to think it’s because he and Scott are both relatively attractive.

He flashes a toothy grin at the blonde who was watching him happily while her friends giggled beside her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Stiles whispering heatedly to Scott. Derek rolled his eyes and turned back to the blender trying to ignore the way his pants fit snugly on his ass. Just when he pressed the on button on the blender, Stiles walked over by Derek and set his tray down on the open space by the ice box. He didn’t say anything, just scooped ice into cups and it had Derek’s heart pounding.

If Derek leaned a little to his right, he could smell Stiles’ cologne- it was the same one he wore when he and Derek were dating. Some things never change.

_Stupid feelings_ , Derek grumbled to himself.

He switched the blender off and poured the drink into the woman’s glass and garnished it with a strawberry. He brought it over to her and said, “Here you go, I hope you enjoy. Anything else I can do for you ladies?”

“Oh honey I think you’ve done _plenty_ ,” one if the woman’s friends said with a wink.

Derek laughed and noticed the blonde’s ears twinge pink. He smiled at her and said, “Let me know when you need another drink. I’ll be here all night.”

Just as he started walking away he heard the blonde start scolding her friend for not “staying cool”. Derek shook his head and grinned to himself, he couldn’t help but preen at the ladies’ attention. Much to his surprise, Stiles was still at the soda fountain trying to figure out how to use the soda gun.

Derek sighed as he took the blender’s blades out of the pitcher to wash it off. Trying to be mindful of the sharp blades as he washed it down, Stiles’ mumbled something about fancy technology. Derek absolutely did not smile a little at Stiles’ exasperation. He just started washing down the pitcher when Stiles’ complaining became too much for him to ignore.

Of course Scott was busy chatting with a couple out on date night for him to notice Stiles’ obvious struggle. Derek didn’t want to say anything to him, he wasn’t even sure if Stiles would respond, but he felt that he had to say _something_. He was clearly struggling.

“Do you need some help?” he asked quietly, glancing up to steal a look at Stiles’ face. Which was hilariously confused.

“No one showed me how to use this when I had my training,” Stiles said, mostly to himself.

“I can show you, if you want,” Derek said, looking at him directly.

Stiles looked up at him and Derek immediately knew he was really pissed off. Maybe not at him but it still made his stomach sink.

Derek felt personally attacked by the color of Stiles’ beautiful eyes and found himself getting lost in them, if only for a moment.

“Are you sure you’re not too busy? Your friends over there keep looking at you, they might need you for something,” Stiles said breaking the silence. His tone was clipped but not aggressive.

Derek looked over at the girls who all immediately looked away when he did. “Why do you say that? I was just over there,” he said, he could feel his eyebrows furling in confusion. Maybe his stomach flipped a little too because Stiles was _there_ and he was talking to him.

“No reason,” Stiles said, pushing more buttons on the soda gun. Orange pop is what came out of it and Stiles’ cheer of triumph was enough to wish Derek never even said anything to him. Clearly he didn’t need his help.

“O-kay then,” Derek said, turning back to the sink to finish cleaning up his mess. He felt a little dejected, but what did he expect? That was the first thing he’d said to Stiles in years, he shouldn’t have expected him to accept his help.

But there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head that made him wonder why Stiles had even brought up the girls. Why did he care? The thought that Stiles might even be a hint of jealous sent a small thrill of hope-

“You were flirting,” is what interrupted Derek’s internal monologue.

Derek looked up from the sink and turned to Stiles shooting a confused look at him, “What?”

“You were flirting with those girls,” Stiles spat. “You really should try to remain professional.”

“I- what?” he spluttered. Confusion, nervousness, and anger twisted in his stomach mixed with a little something else he hasn’t felt since the last time he flirted with someone in front of Stiles. Guilt. “I’m just trying to squeeze a better tip out of them, I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Stiles just shrugged dismissively, “It’s _morally_ wrong, plus it’s against the rules and you know it. Kate wouldn’t be happy to hear about it.”

Derek wanted to laugh at him. Because seriously? Really? And bringing up _Kate_ to him? What the hell? “I don’t care about Kate. It’s against the rules? I see. I can only assume that’s what you were yelling at Scott about a few minutes ago, right? Because he’s doing it just as much as I am. Or do you only have a problem with it because you have an issue with me being bisexual?”

Stiles’ expression faltered for a second. “I don’t—”

“Stop.” Derek said with a roll of his eyes. “I need you to come with me.”

After telling Scott that he and Stiles would be right back, Derek led Stiles through the restaurant and to the breakroom, where they could talk more privately.

“Why did you bring me back here?” Stiles asked after a moment of silence.

Derek flicked on the lights and leaned against the door frame of the entrance. “The conversation was no longer professional enough to continue in front of customers. And we need to have a serious talk Stiles, right here, right now,” he said.

Stiles snorted, “It wasn’t professional to begin with.”

“I know, and as a manager I should’ve brought you back here before I raised my voice at you,” Derek admitted. “But I need you to seriously pay attention to what I have to say. Do you understand?”

Stiles nodded, his eyes downcast and his hands fiddling with the end of his tie.

“You have always had a problem with me being bisexual, Stiles. I don’t know why, because my sexuality is just as valid as yours is. Sure, maybe I played on that because I know how much it bothers you and maybe I shouldn’t have flirted with that girl in front of you for that reason—but you need to stop being so shitty about it,” he said calmly, as to not spark an argument.

“That’s not fair,” Stiles huffed. “I never saw your bisexuality as invalid—”

“What’s with all the biphobic comments you made during and after our relationship, then?” Derek asked, quirking a brow.

Stiles met Derek’s gaze for a moment before saying, “I guess it’s because I was worried you were going to magically ‘turn straight’ if… when we broke up. It sounds stupid, I guess, and wrong and immature but that’s how I felt.”

“So that it, I wasn’t gay enough for your Stiles? What the fuck?”

“No!” Stiles said, scrubbing his hands down his face. “That’s not what I meant to say, that came out so, so wrong. I just. Ugh. Let me try to explain it better? Please?”

“Yeah fine, just, make it quick, okay?” Derek said glancing at the clock.

Stiles nodded. “I guess I just couldn’t stand the idea of you being with a woman because…. Maybe it would make the relationship easier for you? Maybe you wouldn’t experience the hardships in a straight relationship that we had to face? Maybe… maybe I was worried that you wouldn’t want to be with me… or any man… because being straight was easier for you?” Stiles ran a hand through his hair roughly. “I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t a real gay man, I know your sexuality is valid, I just thought that maybe you’d think being straight was easier.”

“It doesn’t matter to me what’s easier, Stiles,” Derek said, exasperated. “If I like someone, I don’t care what kind of hardship I’d have to endure to be with them—being with them would be enough to keep me going.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, Derek, I understand that now.”

“Good,” he said and uncrossed his arms. “That brings me to my next point. Look Stiles, you seriously have no business telling me how to do my job. How I get my tips is my business and my business alone. And you certainly don’t have any business concerning yourself with who I am or am not flirting with, regardless of their gender.”

“I am _not_ concerned-”

“Then why did you even bring it up?” he asked, cocking his head to the side and ignoring the way his stomach dipped. “Is it because you wanted to finally address with me that you have underlying issues with my bisexuality and wanted to talk about it so you could move past it? Or is because you’re jealous that I’m flirting with other people in front of you?”

“I-I don’t fucking know,” Stiles mumbled to himself. “Maybe a little of both.” Stiles huffed and excused himself from the room.

_What the fuck just happened?_

 

It was about two hours later when they closed and Derek finally got time to breathe and actually think about what Stiles had said to him. Was he jealous? Or was it all just in his head?

“You okay man?” Scott asked.

Derek shrugged, “I’m fine.”

“Really? Because it looked like to me, and a couple other patrons, that two were about to strangle each other,” Scott said. “I’m just glad you took your argument elsewhere when you did. What happened?”

“He… accused me of flirting with those girls that left a while ago,” Derek said carefully, unsure if he was using the right words. He reached for the tip jar and started counting the bills, curious to see how much they made. Plus, he could use the distraction.

“Are you serious?” Scott said, his brow furled in frustration. “Is this the whole him being uncomfortable with your sexuality thing again?”

He shrugged, “We had a conversation about that and he explained himself to me but it’s still shitty. And even if he was jealous it’s not a big deal, they tipped us really well so no harm done I guess.” Derek waved the stack of bills in his face which brought out a smile from Scott.

“Do you think he was jealous?” Scott asked, rubbing his chin in thought.

“Does it matter?”

Scott dropped his hand and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You tell me,” he said, looking at Derek curiously.

“I don’t know how I feel,” Derek said, attempting to count their tips again. He was up to two hundred dollars and was only halfway through the bills. “Did he talk to you about flirting with the patrons?”

“In what context?” Scott said carefully, his gaze not quite meeting his eyes.

Derek tossed the bills on the counter, abandoning the money all together. “Spill,” he said darkly.

Scott bit his lip in hesitation and he eventually sighed. “He _was_ complaining about flirting with the customers, but not, like, about me. He was complaining about you… specifically,” Scott said.

“What did he say?” Derek asked, unsure if he wanted to know. The anger he felt was overriding the butterflies he also felt in his stomach.

Scott ran a hand through his hair, clearly stressed and torn if he should tell Derek. Eventually he said, “He said something about how those girls were obviously throwing themselves at you, especially the blonde with the severely red lips, and that it was disgusting that you were eating it up. I told him it was just a show to get a good tip and he said that he didn’t know you were into gross, drooling chicks that have no shame now.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “He’s such a dick.”

“I guess he thought you were still gay,” Scott said, but it sounded more like a question.

“For the record I’m bisexual,” he clarified and flicked Scott on the arm. “You know that, do better. But either way, so what? He shouldn’t care who I’m flirting with, right? Male or female. And what if I _did_ want to take her home? It shouldn’t matter to him.”

Scott only nodded, deciding to shut down their till so Derek could cash them out.

“Do… this isn’t all in my head, right?” Derek nearly whispered.

Scott shook his head and shrugged, “I don’t know what goes on in his head, he only tells me so much. But, if Allison was verbally attacking me like that I would definitely think she was jealous.”

“He has no right to be,” he mumbled.

Scott nodded. “I can ask him for you, if you want? I mean, I’m going to ask him about it anyway because as his best friend, I deserve to know what’s going on in that big brain of his.”

“Don’t feel compelled to tell me,” Derek said. “Because this sounds a lot like a ‘let’s try and get you two back together’ conversation and that’s not what I want.”

“Are you sure?” Scott asked.

He wasn’t sure. And he told Scott just as much. Derek removed the till from the cash drawer. “Maybe tell him to do some research about biphobia and tell him to stop being such a dick.” He looked down at the bills that he didn’t want to count and closed his eyes.

 

Ten minutes later, Derek counted down the till in the security room and soon Scott joined him in there as well. There were servers hustling about trying to get their tables cleared and cleaned so they could all go home. Among them was Stiles who seemed even more stressed than before. Derek wished he wasn’t anxious for him.

As he was about done counting the till, he saw Scott texting rapidly on his phone next to him, having already cleaned everything down and counted their tips. Divided evenly they made about three-hundred dollars each. Which is pretty good for a Saturday night.

It occurred to him as he was putting the cash bag away in the safe that his best friend and ex-girlfriend were both here working. He’s sure his mother wasn’t keeping tabs on him and he knows Scott hasn’t talked to his dad since the divorce a few years back.

Though it was none of his business, Derek wondered who he could be talking to at eleven-thirty at night.

 

**Scott McCall**

<< The plan is totally working

**Erica Reyes**

>> Fuck YES

>> Amazing. Give me details!

**Scott McCall**

<< Ever since I told Stiles that Derek “told me” he’s not in love with him anymore and that he’s been sleeping around with women again, its driven him mad

<< He literally yelled at Derek for flirting with some customers today

**Erica Reyes**

>> Let me guess, a tall blonde with killer heels and legs that go on for miles? Eyes that look like she’s murdered within the past year? Out with the girls to have a bit of fun? Drink of choice is a strawberry daiquiri?

**Scott McCall**

<< …that was creepy, how did you know?

**Erica Reyes**

>> I know that Derek flirts with the customers to get better tips, he’s a terrible person honestly but who am I to judge?

>> Anyway, that was my cousin Halie. I told her about our genius plan and that she should go to the bar with some of her friends and flirt Derek up in front of Stiles.

>> It took a lot of Facebook stalking and couple of days for everyone’s schedules to line up perfectly but she /owed/ me one.

**Scott McCall**

<< You’re a fucking evil genius!

**Erica Reyes**

>> I do what I can >:D

 

**Scott McCall**

>> Hey man, not sure if you still have my number. It’s Scott btw. I talked to Stiles and he said he overreacted and that it was probably just a one-time thing

>> Said it was just weird seeing you flirt with other people /especially/ girls. Told him I wasn’t sure why he’s still hung up on that but he said he would work on it

**Derek Hale**

<< Cool. Thanks for letting me know

**Scott McCall**

>> No problem

            Derek threw his phone on his bed, glaring at it menacingly. It’s not like it was his phone’s fault Stiles wasn’t jealous. Or, if he was it didn’t mean anything to him. He just wished... deep down in his gut he had _hoped_ it did mean something. Stiles was everything to him, even now after all these years, and Derek was just an ex Stiles wasn’t sure how to act around anymore.

            It wasn’t all bad, though, right? I mean, he finally got to talk to Stiles about his issue with his bisexuality and he promised Scott he would work on it. Even though that really doesn’t help him now, at least Stiles was hopefully on his way to being less closed minded about bisexuality. That should at least make him feel a little better, right?

Derek sighed and stripped off his work uniform.

The good feelings of hope were all but drowned out by the sting of rejection.

He was being irrational. Especially thinking back to the whole situation… Stiles getting jealous that Derek was flirting with someone else? It got him hot. Really hot and bothered in the only way Stiles could make him because he just has this _effect_ on Derek. The look Stiles had in his eyes, that fire behind them, it made Derek want to fuck some sense into him. Remind him that Stiles was the only one he’s got eyes for. That it didn’t matter that aspects of their relationship was difficult because they were two men, that it would be easier if he were in a straight relationship.

None of that mattered because he had Stiles and being with Stiles was worth the nasty comments or hateful glares. Yes, that the blonde girl was beautiful but she didn’t have moles littering her pale skin, or eyes that he wanted to lose himself in, or lips that were so plush he wanted to kiss him for hours… the list could go on.

Except for that he doesn’t have eyes only for Stiles, or maybe doesn’t was not the right word. _Shouldn’t_ have eyes only for Stiles. But Derek still… Derek still wants.

And apparently for Stiles, it was only a one-time thing.

 

Except for that it wasn’t.

Derek was just coming back from his break on Tuesday night, and since Tuesdays were usually always slow, it was just Derek bartending and Allison was covering for him. The girl is practically trained in every position and he was so thankful she was around on nights like these. Kate had stopped him in the hallway to discuss Scott’s first training review with him.

“Can we walk and talk?” Derek asked her begrudgingly. “Allison still has to eat too.”

“So how’s Scott _really_ doing? I read your reviews of his performance and, I just have to be frank with you here, were you being honest? Chris and I need to figure out his raise based on his _actual_ performance,” Kate said to him.

It was easy talking to Kate when it was all business, not so easy when she was being an insufferable menace. “Why would I lie?” he asked her.

Kate shrugged and tossed some of her hair behind her shoulder. “Aren’t you friends?” she asked.

Derek rolled his eyes at her, “Just because we’re friends, doesn’t mean I would lie to you about how he is doing. I’m not afraid to tell someone they’re doing a shit job.”

“Language,” Kate bit out at him.

“Seriously?” Derek asked incredulously.

“You’re on the job,” Kate said as they were nearing the bar. She caught Allison’s eye and offered her a small wave.

Derek, on the other hand, caught Stiles’ eye who was looking curiously at him and Kate. He then looked back to Allison and started talking with her again. Disappointment pooled in his belly. What was he expecting anyway?

“So? Everyone swears on the job, I’ve personally heard you say the f-bomb multiple times while bitching out Boyd and my friend Erica for kissing him while he was working,” he pointed out.

“That kind of behavior should wait until they get off of work,” Kate said, a tiny gleam in her eye and a smirk playing on her lips. They were about five feet away from the bar when Kate stopped Derek in his path by touching her hand to his chest. She lightly ran one of her long fingernails down his chest as he said, “Speaking of getting off….”

Derek rolled his eyes and removed her hand with a forced smile, because last time this happened, she wrote him up for having a bad attitude on the job. He patted her hand gently, “Oh Kate, you sure are a class act.”

She grinned wolfishly at him, “I’m not taking that as a ‘no.”

Derek was about to say something when his eyes flitted to Stiles and saw that he looked absolutely _murderous_. The response he was forming was quickly forgotten when he followed Stiles’ glare to see it was focused on his hand that was still holding Kate’s.

He dropped her hand immediately.

Kate smiled, fixed Derek’s tie, and said, “We’ll finish this conversation later.” She walked away before he could clarify and ask if the conversation she was referring to was still about Scott.

Well fuck.

Derek shook his head and moved his tie a little over to the right, he was left with the feeling of Kate grooming him and it made him feel unsettled. He walked past Stiles, wondered why he still smelled like home, walked behind the bar, and told Allison she could go on her break.

“Alright. Stiles are you gonna go with me or should I try to catch up to Kate?” Allison asked the boy who still looked like he was fuming.

“I’ll go at six if that’s okay,” he said to her, not looking Derek’s way once.

Allison shrugged and the both of them left at the same time, one going towards the break room and the other back to the dining room.

Derek sighed and went over to his till to check to see if Allison had made any sales, which she didn’t. There were a few older couples and one group of friends eating in the dining room and none of them looked like the type to start drinking before five. And it was... currently 5:33 p.m.

Derek started thinking about Erica and how she was doing, they hadn’t hung out since the awful Stiles incident during their run…

His train of thought had come derailed once he saw Stiles walking his way. He still looked angry and he was probably just going to talk to Allison and he just wanted to walk through the bar to do so.

“So are you guys a thing then?” Stiles asked once he approached the counter.

Once again, Derek was at a loss for words. “Who? Kate?” was all he managed to say. His heart was thumping wildly against his ribcage, _was it really a one-time thing Stiles?_

“No, your _other_ ex who ran their fingers down your chest while standing a little too close for comfort,” Stiles said sarcastically, crossing his arms. “Here’s a hint: it wasn’t me.”

_Who’s comfort, yours or mine?_ “Stiles don’t be ridiculous-”

“Ridiculous?” Stiles said, his voice pitched an octave higher and his face turned a light shade of pink. “Tell me how ridiculous I’m being when “Speaking of getting off” and “We’ll finish this conversation later”.”

“You heard that?” Derek asked, sort of amazed that Stiles was even eavesdropping in the first place. _Eyes like honey, sweet against your sour tone._

“Sorry- couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to, she was practically shouting her sexual harassment at you,” Stiles said, his voice levelling off to something more controlled. He uncrossed his arms but you could see the underlying anger in his eyes.

His eyes were so expressive to those who’d carefully memorized every fleck of honey colored warmth that melted into vibrant browns and greens. Derek could never tell if Stiles was lying unless he’d look him right in the eyes.

“It’s not sexual harassment when it’s consensual,” Derek replied simply. Defending Kate tasted bad in his mouth.

“So it’s true then?” Stiles said, his eyebrows shot so high up his forehead Derek wondered if they were going to fly off.

“It’s really none of your business, but _no_ we don’t have a thing nor will we _ever_ have a thing again. I’m not interested in her,” Derek said much more gently than he had intended. “She harasses me all the time and I can’t fight back unless I want to lose my job.”

This seemed to shock Stiles out of his anger. “Oh,” he said lamely.

“But didn’t we just have this conversation a few days ago? You don’t have the right to ask me who I’m sleeping with and who I’m not. You don’t have the right to get jealous and yell at me for it. _You_ broke up with _me_ , Stiles,” he said. Derek really didn’t want to say it, but he wasn’t sure if Stiles would get the point if he didn’t hear the words from himself.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he sighed and sagged against the counter with his whole body. “I’m sorry, I-I need to stop being so jealous. Or at least keep it to myself.”

Wait, what? If Stiles admitted he was jealous, did that mean he still had feelings for him as well? And if he did… did he want to try again?

Was Derek ready to let Stiles back in?

He had so many questions and Derek could tell that he was about to walk away. He was sure if he didn’t say something now, that would be the end of them. For good. Stiles pushed off the counter he was leaning on.

Now or never.

What was right? What did Derek really want?

“Stiles, wait,” he said before he even realized he had made up his mind.

Stiles’ hurt filled eyes met Derek’s. He looked like a kicked puppy and Derek wanted to curl in on himself and cry because he did that to him. “Yeah?” he asked.

Derek took a deep breath before saying, “Clearly there’s something… wrong here, between us. And I get that it’s uncomfortable and awkward, but I’d really like to talk with you.”

“Umm….”

His heart pounded. “You don’t have to answer me now. Think about it, decide what you want to do. At the end of my shift I’ll be waiting out in my car until after the restaurant is closed. You decide if you want to join me or not,” Derek said quietly.

“You realize how weird that sounds?” he asked after a moment.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Stiles gave Derek a quick once-over. After his eyes roamed over Derek’s body, they wandered up to meet Derek’s. Stiles shifted uncomfortably, chewing on his bottom lip before deciding what to say. “I can tell you’re different somehow, but you’re still working the whole broody, mysterious thing, huh?” he asked quietly.

Derek shrugged. He tried to remain cool even though on the inside he was screaming.

“I guess some things never change,” Stiles said and walked away.

 

It was around 10:13 when Derek watched Stiles’ jeep drive out of the parking lot that night.

When Derek got home, he texted Scott and asked him what Stiles’ schedule was for the rest of the week. They worked together for every shift Derek had including Saturday, and as much as he needed that tip money, he called in sick for every one of them.

 

Erica came over on Sunday night, even though she wasn’t invited. The first thing she did, even before she greeted Derek, was turn on every light he had in the apartment and opened every single window blind.

“You’re not a vampire, D,” she said, crawling into his bed with him. “Get some sunlight.”

“Please leave me here to die,” he mumbled, turning away from her.

Erica placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “Derek, please turn back over. I want to cuddle you and you and I both know I don’t like being the big spoon,” she said softly.

Derek huffed out a breath intended to be a laugh and rolled over. Erica grabbed him by the shoulders and brought him into her chest until Derek’s face was pressed into the side of her neck. He whimpered quietly and wrapped his hands around her waist, happy for the comfort.

“God you sound pathetic,” Erica tried to joke as she carded her fingers through his hair. Derek knew she’d immediately regret it and stop once she felt how greasy his hair was, but to his surprise she kept going.

Derek sighed, “How did you know?”

“Scott.”

“I thought… I just wanted to talk to him. You know? See where he stands and why he came back here and try to work shit out so that he wouldn’t accuse me of flirting with every person he sees me talking to,” he explained. He nuzzled deeper into Erica’s neck and inhaled, smelling her perfume and the light scent of the bakery.

He just wanted to get the scent of Stiles out of his nose.

Erica scratched Derek’s scalp in a way she knew Derek liked, but she stayed silent.

“I just don’t know what he wants from me,” he whispered. He felt his eyes start to sting like they do before he starts to cry.

Erica hummed quietly to herself for a moment. “At least you tried Derek,” she said quietly.

Derek slid his arm out from underneath Erica and wiped at his eyes. “I won’t ever be enough for him, will I?” he mumbled.

“For starters, he’s a fucking idiot,” Erica said to him. He could hear the anger behind her voice when she spoke. “You deserve the world and more, Derek. You are an amazing friend and an even better person and if he can’t see that? Then he can fall in a fucking choke”

“Don’t say that,” Derek warned her.

“Why are you still defending him? You wanted answers, you wanted closure and he couldn’t even give you that! He’s an asshole Derek and he isn’t worth your time or energy!” she exclaimed.

Derek flinched but he knew she was right.

“Look, bud, I know you like to revel in your emotional pain, but you smell bad and your hair is greasier than a burger from Wendy’s,” Erica said. “And I know you’re probably not ready to function like a normal human being but I can’t cuddle you until you do because I have a date I need to get to in thirty minutes.”

Derek perked up at that, “A date? I didn’t even know you’re talking to anyone. Who is it?”

Erica’s frown turned into a grimace as she said, “Boyd, he wants to try and work things out.”

Erica and Boyd had broken up only three months ago, the relationship lasted for a little under a year, and Boyd had ended it because he was convinced that Erica was in love with Derek. Two weeks after the break up, they talked and Erica told Boyd that she didn’t feel anything for Derek and this time he actually listened.

But apparently she’d conveniently left out that, two months after Derek and Stiles ended, Erica and Derek kissed when they were both drunk and lonely. The kiss lasted for only a few seconds before the two pulled away in a fit of laughter because it wasn’t arousing in the slightest for either of them. Erica likened it to kissing a tree, Derek likened it to kissing Kate. Which threw them into another fit of laughter before they’d decided to never do anything like that again.

Boyd found out, though, and confronted Derek while at work. Boyd broke up with Erica, asked Chris to schedule him and Derek on opposite nights, and he never spoke to either of them again. Which brings them to now.

Derek sat up and against the headboard of his bed. “Holy shit! That’s huge,” Derek said to his best friend who was smiling sheepishly. “I’m so happy for you Erica.”

“Thanks,” she said, sitting up and kicking the blankets off from herself. “I just hope he understands that there’s nothing going on between us, I used to like him a lot-“

“-I daresay love-”

“-Shut up asshole,” Erica said, smacking his arm. “As I was saying, I just hope he can get past this whole… jealousy he had of you.”

“Well, you can always reassure him by telling him that I’m still hopelessly in love with Stiles and things have gotten exponentially worse for me since Stiles moved back here,” Derek offered.

Erica laughed, “Okay I’ll mention it to him. Now seriously, get in the shower. I’ll even wash your sheets and put new ones on while you’re in there. I know you prefer wallowing in your self-pity in clean sheets.”

“You’re my favorite person,” Derek said and got off his bed. He grabbed a change of clothes from his closet, and when he turned around he saw that Erica was grinning evilly at her phone and furiously texting someone back.

It was probably just Boyd.

“Since you’ll be in the shower longer than it’ll take me to change your sheets, I love you and chin up and Stiles is an asshole and I’ll text you immediately when I get home from my date,” Erica said.

Derek rolled his eyes, “Good luck! Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Wear a condom!”

Erica shoved Derek into the adjoining bathroom to his bedroom and shut the door on him, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

Derek looked around his bathroom and sighed, it needed a bit of cleaning. There was toothpaste stuck in the sink and spots on the mirror from God knows what (hairspray, not that he’d admit to ever using it).

He walked over to the shower and turned it on, letting the water heat up before he stepped in. Thanks to the small fortune his family left behind after the fire, he was able to afford a pretty nice apartment with a shower that had great water pressure and didn’t take five years to warm up.

He grabbed his towel from the towel bar and slung it over the curtain rod. He stripped off the clothes he’d been wearing for five days straight and threw them onto the floor, he’d put them in the hamper later.

Derek stepped into the shower then, letting the water pound against his back to soothe him before he started washing his hair. The shampoo was the same brand Stiles used and, as much as Derek hated how sweet it smelled, like apples and cinnamon, he couldn’t bring himself to buy any other kind. He told himself it was because it made his hair soft which it _did_ but it also reminded him of a time when he was much happier.

Derek just finished scrubbing his body clean of any evidence that he was sitting around for the past two days crying about Stiles. Stiles. Stupid Stiles with his stupid hair and his stupid eyes and his stupid mouth and his _stupid_ jealousy.

As if Derek would ever think about having sex with _Kate_ of all people. Stiles knew how much he hated her, why on Earth would Stiles ever be jealous of her? He wondered what exactly set him off, was it just them talking in general? Or was it because Kate had ran her fingers down his chest and down his torso, the same thing Stiles liked to do just before he’d suck Derek off.

Arousal coiled in his belly and the thought of Stiles sucking Derek off made his dick twitch in interest. The thought of Stiles getting jealous of Derek and Kate talking got him half hard. Derek groaned and slumped forward, his forehead resting against the opposite wall of the shower.

This was so fucked up, he shouldn’t be getting _hard_ thinking about making Stiles jealous.

Besides, he doesn’t want to have a pathetic wank to thoughts of flirting with other people just to see Stiles get pissed and possessive. During their relationship, Derek was the one to get jealous, not Stiles.

Some things do change, he guessed.

But since it had been a day or two since he last jerked off, he found himself deciding he didn’t feel guilty. Derek took a deep breath and wrapped his hand around his cock and tugged on it lightly. He hissed quietly at the sudden contact and immediately whimpered as he got a good rhythm going.

He heard his phone vibrate against the floor tiles, the sound loud enough to be heard through the pocket of his sweatpants.

The sound only make Derek quicken his pace though, memories of the time he and Stiles decided to try out a vibrating dildo racing in his brain.

Derek swiped his thumb over the head of his cock, playing with the slit as a bit of pre cum drippled out. He felt the build of a moan start deep in his chest when all of a sudden he heard banging against his front door.

His moan turned into a groan of annoyance and he dropped his hand and banged his head against the tile. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue or see who was knocking so persistently and _loudly_.

Derek opted to ignore it, figuring they would go away eventually. It would’ve worked to had he not heard a faint, “Anyone home?” coming from the front door.

Derek sighed and mentally apologized to his cock, neglected now and throbbing painfully. He turned the temperature down to cold and gave himself a minute to think about dead kittens before he stepped out of the shower.

He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist as the knocking got, somehow, louder. Derek stepped over his discarded clothes and tucked a corner of his towel inside so that it wouldn’t fall from his waist.

“I know someone is home!” a person, male, shouted between knocks against the door.

“I’m coming!” he shouted. “Jesus Christ.”

Derek was thoroughly pissed now, if it was his neighbor trying to sell his daughter’s Girl Scout cookies to him again, he’d probably start throwing punches.

He unlocked the door and threw it open to see Scott at the door, looking even more pissed off than Derek, and a surprised Stiles who was staring at Derek’s exposed torso. He immediately wished he didn’t answer the door or maybe that he’d actually put real clothes on.

Derek looked between the two boys, Scott looked almost delighted to see Derek in this state of undress and Stiles was still staring. “Um. What the fuck?”

“You said we were going to get pizza,” Stiles nearly shouted, almost as if Derek speaking brought him back to reality. “And I don’t want to see him.”

Scott swiped Stiles’ keys from his hands and shoved them down the front of his pants. “We all know you’re not going in there to get them back from me,” Scott said gravely while Stiles glared at his best friend.

Derek’s eyebrows furled in confusion and took a step back, wanting to invite them in but not being able to find the words.

Scott offered a wry smile to Stiles. He looked at Derek then and turned back to Stiles, “Talk.” Scott pushed Stiles into Derek’s apartment and shut the door swiftly, not bothering to say anything else.

Stiles stumbled forward and caught himself on Derek’s chest. Derek placed his hands on Stiles shoulders to steady him. “Alright?” he asked.

Stiles nodded and tried to turn the doorknob, but it wouldn’t budge. “Scott what the hell? Let me out!” he shouted.

“Not. Until. You. Talk.”

“How the hell can you even lock yourself in an apartment from the outside in? Scott please,” he whined. “What if he doesn’t want me here?”

“That’s too fucking bad because I’m not playing Switzerland anymore for either of you,” came Scott’s angered response.

Stiles sighed heavily and turned around to face Derek. Except for that he stared at his shoes rather than make eye contact with him.

He looked nervous, fidgety even. He was playing with the hem of his shirt and picking at the frayed edges. The shirt looked worn but loved, a little big on Stiles, the sleeves were three quarter length and white, and the bodice was maroon. It had three buttons undone to the collar and it exposed just the barest hint of Stiles’ chest.

Derek couldn’t see it but he knew there was a hole in the left armpit of the shirt and that the sleeves used to be grey but it was washed so much the color had faded. That was his shirt. It had been such a long time ago but Derek gave Stiles that shirt before they even started dating, it was too small on him and he thought Stiles would want it.

The realization made Derek exhale sharply through his nose, never mind that Stiles was wearing black skinny jeans that it looked like he poured himself into. This wasn’t Stiles moping around at home wearing Derek’s old clothes, this was Stiles prepared to go out in public wearing Derek’s old clothes.

He wanted to scream.

“Why are you wet?” Stiles asked to break the silence.

“I was in the shower,” Derek replied sharply. He turned on his heel and headed back to the bathroom to put his clothes back on.

Derek walked into his bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. He didn’t know what to do; he wanted to pull his hair out, he wanted to scream until he lost his voice. Or maybe he wanted to pull Stiles’ hair and fuck him so well that Stiles would scream until he lost his voice.

It wasn’t fair, Derek was still feeling horny since he couldn’t finish himself off in the shower and now Stiles is here and he had his hands on his chest and. Derek was feeling antsy.

He put a pair of sweatpants on, who cares if it is mid-summer, and realized that he forgot a pair of boxers. He was about to go out and grab a pair when he remembered his phone going off while he was in the shower. Maybe Scott had texted him an explanation. Derek fished his phone out of his pants and read that he had three missed texts from Scott and a missed call.

**Missed Calls: Scott McCall (1)**

**Scott McCall**

**> > **Hey bud, Stiles told me what happened the other night and I’m sorry

**> >** He should’ve talked to you

**> >** Hope you’re not too mad, coming over to talk soon

Derek frowned and shot a text off to Scott asking him to please take his best friend home immediately because he wasn’t going to talk to Stiles at all. Scott replied with telling him he and Stiles were going to die in there because he wasn’t letting either of them out until they talk.

Derek knew he could easily over power Scott and open his door, but he thought it might be more fun to mess with Stiles. Make him squirm a bit. It was pretty clear that Stiles was still attracted to him, seeing that he was all but drooling when Derek opened the door.

Maybe this could be fun.

Maybe he could finally get some answers out of him.

Derek grinned to himself, happy that he’d forgotten his underwear after all. He glanced over in the mirror and slung his sweatpants low on his hips to keep it provocative but that left enough to Stiles’ imagination- or memory, he supposed.

Derek opted to not put his shirt on and stuffed it in the hamper with his dirty clothes. He grabbed his towel from the counter and walked out of the bathroom drying off his hair as he went.

He didn’t realize Stiles would be in his room, however, and he didn’t have enough time to think of what the next step was.

“What are you doing?” Derek asked, scratching the towel in his hand over his hair the way Stiles used to beg him to do every time he got out of the shower.

“Umm,” Stiles said, eyes focusing on Derek’s hair, down his face, down his chest, and his eyes finally settled on his hips, nearly choking at seeing how low his pants were hanging. “Uh, can you at least put a shirt on?”

Derek wanted to smile at him, he wanted to laugh, but he kept his face stony and hard. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I’d be having company. You’re lucky I even have pants on right now,” he said, making sure to sound more agitated than he really was.

Stiles’ face turned pink, “Good thing for underwear right?”

“Who said I’m wearing any?” Derek smirked, his eyebrow raised only slightly when he watched Stiles’ face completely turn bright red.

“No?” Stiles voice broke.

Derek just shrugged and walked over to this closet, hanging his wet towel up to dry on a hook. He thought about grabbing a t-shirt out but he decided against it. It’s his house he can wear what he wants.

“No to the t-shirt too then?” Stiles asked frowning. “Look if you’re trying to… what show me that your body is still perfect even after I left? Mission accomplished. But if we’re going to try and _actually_ talk, I can’t be distracted.”

 “I just hadn’t turned the AC on yet and I didn’t want to get too warm,” Derek said to him. “No ulterior motive.”

“Oh good I thought that it was a little warm in here,” Stiles muttered.

“You’re the one wearing black skinny jeans in the middle of the summer,” Derek pointed out. He walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen so he could turn on the air conditioning. Stiles followed after him, of course.

“What? I like them. They make my legs look good,” Stiles said in defense.

Derek clicked his tongue quietly, he had a point. “At least they’re better than those awful mom jeans your dad used to buy for you,” he said.

Stiles’ cheeks turned pink once more. “Can we please just… talk? I don’t want to be here and you don’t want me here. The sooner we get this done the sooner I can leave,” Stiles bargained.

Derek considered this, “Nah.”

“What?” Stiles asked, clearly shocked.

Derek shrugged, “I meant what I said Tuesday night. That was a one-time only thing. I gave you a chance and you didn’t take it so, no, I do not want to talk to you. Not about us.”

“Derek-”

“No,” he bit at him. His mouth pressed into a thin line, staring hard at Stiles. He looked completely stunned. “I don’t have anything to say to you, Stiles.”

“Clearly you do! You wanted to talk the other night-”

“Not anymore, then,” Derek cut him off with a sharp glare. It was now nine-thirty and his phone was ringing in his bedroom, figuring that it was Erica he made a move to go answer it. He stopped mid step though, turned around to the boy who looked so lost and confused now more than ever, and said, “I’d tell you to make yourself at home, but please don’t.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Stiles spluttered. “Scott won’t let me out and without your help I can’t get him to move from in front of the door. You don’t even have a TV.”

“Try to reason with him? I don’t know. And I do have a TV,” Derek said, walking away. “It’s in my bedroom,” he added.

Derek closed the door behind him and answered Erica and her second call.

_“Boyd and I are back together!”_ she screamed before Derek could even greet her.

“I’m so happy for you Er-bear,” he said and sat down cross-legged on his bed that was neatly made. “That is amazing news. I take it Boyd got over the fact that we’re not fucking?”

Erica laughed, “ _Yeah I mentioned to him that Stiles is back in town and that you’re still ass over tits for him. That really seemed to make him feel better. Plus, I told him that kissing you was the most un-arousing thing I’ve ever done sexually and that it felt like kissing a tree branch and that you weren’t any good at it._

 “It’s not my fault you lacked inspiration.”

Erica giggled, _“Hey Boyd said he wants to talk to you too, next time you guys work together_ if _you go back to work.”_

“Well I’m up for meeting with him,” Derek said smiling. “Why doesn’t he actually just meet me at my place tomorrow? Around, maybe, seven? We can catch dinner too.”

There was a soft knock on Derek’s bedroom door before Stiles stepped in.

_“I’m sure he’ll love that,”_ Erica said happily. _“Can I come too?”_

Derek pressed his mouth into a thin line, staring Stiles down and settling on rolling his eyes at him. “What do you mean can you come too?” he answered her. “I don’t want you to be there if he’s going to be sharing his feelings.”

Derek watched Stiles’ expression turn from hurt to irritated in a matter of moments.

_“Please, Derek?”_

“Look, Erica I have to go. Stiles is here and it looks like he’s angry with me,” Derek sighed, staring at Stiles who was staring at him with a cold glare.

_“What the fuck?”_

“Scott brought him over and locked him inside with me. I’ll fill you in on the details later,” Derek said, still watching Stiles who was still watching him.

_“No, I’ll text Scott and get the information from him. I might not be hearing from you soon enough to suit my fancy,”_ she said.

“Okay, see you tomorrow,” he said and only dropped his gaze from Stiles to his phone to hang up. When his eyes found Stiles’ again, they remained silent but the air around them felt charged. With something.

“How’s Erica?” Stiles asked.

Derek’s heart thudded against his chest. “How’s her pie?”

“I wouldn’t know,” said Stiles, his jaw clenched, eyes never leaving Derek’s.

“I know you wouldn’t know,” Derek frowned, remembering Stiles throwing the bag to the ground a few weeks ago.

“Who’s she setting you up with?” Stiles spat.

Derek grinned, never once dropping his stare, “Do you know Boyd? Works in the bar with me?”

“No,” Stiles said through gritted teeth.

“Liar. She’s dating him now, or I guess again,” Derek continued, he watched Stiles’ irritated expression smooth over into embarrassment. “There was a bit of drama between us but the three of us are getting together tomorrow to talk shit out so we can leave it in the past. Unlike someone I know.”

“I could say the same fucking thing,” Stiles said, raising his voice slightly, taking a step forward ever so timidly.

Derek narrowed his eyes and sat up on his knees, so he wouldn’t be more at eye level with Stiles. “At least I tried, at least I didn’t run away like a fucking coward,” he snapped. Whatever the air was charged with, it got thicker.

Stiles crossed his arms, “At least I don’t flirt with people in front of my ex to get them pissed on purpose.”

“At least I don’t lie to all of my friends about why my ex and I broke up,” Derek countered, giving Stiles a challenging look.

“At least I didn’t give him an ultimatum,” Stiles sneered and uncrossed his arms.

“At least I didn’t run back to my hometown when things got hard and get a job at the same place my ex works at,” he said through his teeth. Derek stood then so he could jam a finger into Stiles’ chest hard. “I shouldn’t be surprised, you’re a flight risk when life starts to get too real.”

“Fuck you,” Stiles growled and slapped Derek’s finger away.

Derek’s mouth curled up into a wicked smile, “You wish.”

It was then when Derek realized just how close Stiles had gotten, his face only mere inches away. He was close enough to kiss if Derek wanted to, if he knew Stiles wouldn’t reject him. Derek watched Stiles’ gaze drop from his own, down to his mouth, and back up again. He was half hard already and he’d wondered if Stiles was too.

“I don’t,” Stiles said, his voice was still filled with chagrin but his eyes were back on his mouth again.

“Liar,” Derek accused him again, his voice was but a whisper and his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. He swallowed hard as Stiles gaze dragged slowly back up to meet Derek’s, his eyes more pupil than they were iris.

Derek guessed that you could probably cut the sexual tension in the room with a knife.

“I’d ask you if there was a line, but…” Stiles trailed off,

“But it wouldn’t matter because you’d be the first one in it?” Derek questioned. He quirked his eyebrows suggestively.

Stiles looked like he was at war with himself. He exhaled sharply through his nose and said, “Fuck. _Yes_ , and if that means I have to fight everyone who even _looks_ at you-”

Derek pressed a kiss to the place where his neck and shoulder met and Stiles, rather than finishing his sentence, groaned. Derek worked his way up, nipping and biting at Stiles’ neck gently, until he found Stiles’ pulse point and latched on, sucking a purple bruise into his neck.

Stiles moaned quietly and stepped into the rest of Derek’s space so their chests were flush and Derek could feel Stiles’ hard length against his thigh. Stiles caught Derek’s mouth in a kiss that turned filthy within seconds.

Stiles hands found Derek’s hair and his fingers carded through it gently, before grabbing a handful and tugging on it just the way he liked. Derek groaned and bucked his hips against Stiles’, causing the man to moan loudly. The friction was exactly what he’d needed apparently.

“Wait, no,” Stiles said, pushing Derek off him gently. “We can’t do this.”

Derek stared at him, breathing heavily. “We can’t?”

“Do you still love me, Derek?” Stiles asked, his chest heaving, his eyes pleading.

Derek ran a hand through his damp hair and said, frustrated, “I don’t know how I feel Stiles. Can you honestly say that you do?”

“Yes! I… I don’t want you anymore,” he said.

The words knocked the breath out of Derek. He sat at the foot of his bed, staring at Stiles’ feet. “Then why did you kiss me?”

“You started it,” he scoffed. “I ended it.”

“No, you could’ve ended it way sooner,” Derek retorted.

Stiles rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “Fine. I got caught up in the heat of the moment, then.”

“So you weren’t kissing me because you want to work things out?” Derek asked.

“No—look, I shouldn’t have kissed you. That was a mistake and I realize that now,” Stiles said quietly.

It was clear to Derek that wasn’t Stiles’ intention—they were not going to get back together, ever.

“Unless…”

Derek’s heartrate spiked, “Unless what?”

“Do you want to get back together?” Stiles asked, his hands were now stuffed in his pants pockets and he looked innocent and uncertain and scared.

Derek hesitated to answer—he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

“Unless you’re already fucking Kate or someone else equally as terrible,” he added, bitterly.

Derek started to see red. He stood up, then to face him. “Really? This argument again? What the fuck is your issue Stiles?” he shouted. “You say you want closure, that you don’t want me, and then you throw this jealousy fueled bullshit in my face?”

“I have to know who you’re sleeping with,” Stiles said desperately. “It’s driving me insane!”

Derek rolled his eyes, “Anyone I’m sleeping with or trying to sleep with right now is just a warm mouth to me.”

“Would that include me?” Stiles asked, disbelievingly.

Derek shrugged.

Stiles frowned at him, “I don’t believe that for a second. You still love me, admit it.”

“What difference would it make if I did?” Derek asked, exasperated. “It doesn’t matter how I feel, you said it yourself you don’t love me anymore. Besides, I could hate you for all you care, just so long as you get what you want.”

 “The line between love and hate is easily swayed,” he pointed out, ignoring the jab Derek made towards his selfishness.

_What?_ “Let me make this very clear,” Derek said slowly, carefully. “I do not feel anything for you. Don’t try to make it seem like what happened before was because I’m still in love with you. Like you said, heat of the moment.”

“Nothing?” Stiles asked, his eyes filled with a coldness Derek hadn’t seen in a while,

“Nothing,” Derek answered, his voice never faltering.

 “I guess that’s it then, I’ll be seeing you.”

Derek watched as Stiles left his room and he felt his heart break all over again. He groaned and laid back onto his bed, listening to Stiles plead softly with Scott to let him out. After a couple of minutes Derek heard his door open, a few soft whispers, and finally the door shut. Leaving him all alone once again.


	2. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes relationships have to break. Sometimes, if you're lucky, relationships can be mended.
> 
> Sunny June afternoons can fix a lot of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter is up!! We get into Stiles head a little more in this chapter... which, should clear up some confusion! Actually, a lot of things get solved in this chapter haha. Hopefully you guys like this and as allllllways happy reading ♥
> 
> Stars such as *** signify a beginning and end of a flashback, anything in between the stars will be something that happened in the past.
> 
> In the text conversations << signify outgoing messages (so, like, who's POV the text messages are from) and >> signify incoming messages.
> 
> ***WARNING***  
> Mentions of biphobia in this chapter and use of biphobic language. Please read at your discretion.

Derek stretched out on his towel, the early summer sun warming his skin, and the smell of sunblock filled his nose.

“Good idea to come to the beach Erica,” Boyd said, admiring his girlfriend in her scantily clad swimsuit.

“It’s warm outside, Derek _still_ hasn’t gotten any sun since the incident, and I just bought this swimsuit and wanted you to see me in it,” Erica said with a grin. “It seemed like a great idea to me.”

 “I resent that,” Derek mumbled.

“You really need to go on a date or something, man,” Boyd said. “You’ve been in this funk for like, what, two weeks?”

“Wait, this wasn’t a date?” Erica asked, feigning shock. “And here I thought I finally got through with you guys on the whole polyamory thing.”

Derek rolled his eyes and sat up, “I’m sorry Erica, but neither of you are my type.”

“And I’m not gay,” Boyd pointed out as he sprayed suntan lotion on himself.

Erica snorted, “Way to kill a dream guys.” Boyd kicked sand at his girlfriend who shrieked in delighted protest.

Derek laughed, “Boyd I know I said you weren’t my type but if you ever get tired of her, I’ll be waiting here with open arms.”

“Might make things awkward at work, don’t you think?” Boyd joked.

Derek sighed. “Yeah I don’t need any more awkward energy then there already is.”

After what happened with Stiles last week, things became even more strained at work between the two. Or rather, everything that had been happening between them completely stopped. Derek wasn’t sure what he hated more, that Stiles wouldn’t speak to him—let alone look at him—or Stiles’ occasional outbursts of jealousy when he saw Derek even potentially flirting with someone else.

Not to mention Scott has been so apologetic to Derek that it’s almost driven him into madness.

 

“I just feel responsible for this whole thing happening,” Scott said to Derek, three days after the incident.

“Well it was your fault for tricking him to come into my house and then forcing us to spend time together,” Derek sighed, scrubbing the blender clean after making his fifth margarita of the night. He didn’t understand, they were much better on the rocks anyway. “You didn’t honestly think that it was going to end well, right?”

Scott towel tried one of the glasses from the sink. “I guess I thought it wouldn’t end _horribly_. I was just so mad that he refused to talk to you about… well you guys,” he pouted. “I thought I was doing you both a favor.”

“Scott, I appreciate you trying to fight the good fight in my honor, but we’re big boys you know?” Derek tried to reason. “I wanted to talk and he didn’t, I can handle a little rejection.”

Scott grabbed the blender and started drying it. “Well it just sucks, I’m so frustrated with him.”

“And you don’t think I’m not?” Derek laughed. He shook his head and dried his hands with some paper towel. “I just wanted to try to ease the tension and make our work environment a little better, maybe get a little closure—”

“That’s what is so frustrating! Stiles told me all he wanted when he came back to town was closure. _Closure_! And he couldn’t even give you that when you were offering it to him!” Scott groaned.

“Wait, what?” Derek asked. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. He said that he’d just like to sit down and have a talk with you and get closure and move on,” Scott said.

“Are you fucking—” Derek wanted to lash out, but since there were customers sitting at the bar, he felt that wouldn’t seem professional. “He never said anything to me about getting closure. He just demanded to know if I was still in love with him even though he assured me he didn’t love me. So, like, what does it even matter?”

Derek scrubbed a hand down his face.

“I don’t know, dude. I never know what’s going on in that big brain of his.”

“I’m glad to know where he stands, officially now,” Derek scoffed. “And here I thought all his signs and his _bullshit_ meant he wanted to work things out.”

Derek felt his anger bubble in his stomach and crawl up his spine. His face was hot with it. He needed to go somewhere to scream.

He looked around the bar and, since it was still early in the night, he felt like he could leave Scott for a few minutes. “I just need a minute to cool down, okay? I’ll be right back,” he mumbled.

“No problem dude, I learned from the best,” he said, trying to offer Derek an encouraging smile.

Derek stormed off, originally headed for the break room but he knew going in there and trying to cool down wouldn’t solve anything. What he needed to do was talk to Stiles.

He had found Allison by mistake while she was at a table, bringing them their drinks. They were a couple in their thirties and he figured he’d be okay to borrow her for a second.

“Allison,” he said as he approached the table.

She looked up just as she placed the last water on the table. “Oh, hi Derek,” she said, confused.

“Good evening,” Derek addressed the couple, he tried to suppress the emotional mess going on inside his brain, and traded it up for happiness. “Do you mind if I borrow your server, Allison for just one moment? It’s urgent.”

“Not at all,” the lady beamed at him.

“Excuse me guys, I’ll be right back,” Allison offered a bright smile to them.

She looked confused and a little cross by the time they were out of earshot from everyone else. “Derek, what’s going on? Why do you look so pissed?” Allison asked.

“How busy are you?” he asked. “Like could you cover Stiles’ tables for five minutes?”

Allison rolled her eyes, “Yes I can, but make it snappy okay? I don’t have time for your lover’s quarrel.” She glanced over at the bar where Scott looked like he was having a lot of fun. “And I’m sure Scott needs you back soon, too.”

Derek wondered how much Allison knew. “Of course, thank you so much. I promise it’ll be quick. Where can I find him?”

“In the kitchen, probably talking to one of the servers back there,” Allison rolled her eyes.

“Great,” Derek huffed. “Thank you again.”

Derek made his way to the kitchen, avoiding anyone’s questioning stares. He busted into the kitchen with such force, he heard someone shout “shit Chris is here”. He watched as people scrambled to look busy until they realized that he was indeed not Chris.

“Guys it’s just Derek Hale, false alarm,” a girl named Braeden announced. She smiled at him and said, “We usually don’t see you around these parts.”

“I’m looking for Stiles Stilinski,” he said to her.

“Oh that boy,” she laughed, “is probably flirting with Danny by the sink.”

Derek tried to suppress his jealousy, but he was already seething. “Fucking fabulous, thank you for the direction,” he said through his teeth.

He found Stiles, sure enough, by the sink talking with some guy as he was washing the dishes. Derek watched him for a moment, wondering if he was even upset at all, and tracked the movement of Stiles’ hand squeezing the other boy’s shoulder.

 _Fuck._ Jealousy curled in his belly as Derek got a taste of his own medicine, and Stiles didn’t even know he was _here_. He wasn’t doing this for show or to make Derek jealous on purpose—he was flirting because he wanted to flirt. Nothing more to gain than his own satisfaction.

And it fucking hurt.

Derek felt immediately guilty, if Stiles only felt half this bad as he did right now then he’d never flirt with anyone in front of him again.

“You are a horrible person,” the guy laughed.

Stiles laughed, “I know it keeps me up at night. So, about that favor you owe me—”

“Yeah, yeah. I remember I lost the bet, but that still doesn’t mean I am going to breakdance in the middle of the restaurant,” the guy said, turning around to put the dishes in a tray to put it through the drier. “Oh, hello there.”

Stiles turned around to see who the guy—Danny—was talking to. His eyes grew as wide as saucers and his mouth popped open in surprise. “What..?”

“You’re coming with me,” Derek said, fuming, but trying to keep his voice level.

“I-I have tables,” he protested.

Derek crossed his arms and said, “I got Allison to cover them for you so that we can go somewhere and talk for a minute.”

“I wouldn’t argue with him, man, he looks really pissed,” Danny said to Stiles.

“And I’m going to get more pissed it we keep standing here. Wasting. My. Time,” Derek said sternly.

“Fine, let’s go sour—guy,” Stiles stumbled over the words of Derek’s old nickname.

They made their way to the break room in silence, Derek furious and Stiles stewing with nervousness and awkwardness. Once they were there, Derek flipped on the lights, and shut the door behind them.

“Derek, what’s going on? What did I do now?” Stiles sighed, he sounded tired.

“What did you do now?” Derek asked. “I am unbelievably frustrated with you! And not to mention furious.”

Stiles’ eyes narrowed, “What did Scott tell you?”

“You came back to Beacon Hills to get closure, Stiles?” Derek asked. He was sure he sounded like a maniac at that point; his voice was high and squeaky because he was so exasperated.

“What..?” Stiles said, eyes wide. He knew he was caught. “What is this about?”

“I, Stiles—I offered to give you closure. I wanted to talk to you, what, a month ago? I wanted to talk so it wouldn’t be awkward as fuck working with you in the future. I wanted to try and make it better, _I_ wanted closure,” Derek said hysterically. “And all those bullshit signals you were giving me? Hot one day and cold the next. What was I supposed to think? Jesus I thought—I thought you maybe wanted to try again or something, but because you can’t sit down and have an actual adult conversation, I had to guess and get my hopes up and constantly have them be torn down just to find out you wanted closure. _Closure_. Something I have needed for _years_ and you couldn’t even give that to me. Your best friend literally had to force you into my home to talk to me because you were what? Scared?”

“Yeah I _was_ scared, Derek,” Stiles said his amber eyes boring into Derek’s green ones.

“What do you think could have happened if you got in my car with me and I brought you to a coffee shop so we could talk? Because let me tell you, it would’ve worked out a lot better than that bullshit the other night,” he said.

“I know! It was a mistake. All of it was,” Stiles said quietly. “Everything was.”

“Even me? I was a mistake?” Derek asked, his anger completely subsiding and turning into something a little more familiar. The sinking feeling in his gut told him just as much.

Stiles didn’t give an answer, he just looked away from Derek.

“Stiles, do you feel like you have any closure here?” Derek asked. “Do you want to be over me?”

“You already told me that you are over me so…” Stiles said to the floor.

“What are you saying here Stiles?” Derek asked, frustrated.

Stiles shrugged.

“Do you want to be together or not?” Derek asked, desperate for an answer. “Say what you mean for once, I’m begging you. Tell me the truth, no matter what you think or what I’ve said to you out of anger. Don’t leave me in the dark here.”

Stiles sighed and looked from the floor to Derek. He gave him a sad sort of smile and walked up to him, closing the space between each other. Stiles took Derek’s face in his hands and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

Before Derek could even kiss back, Stiles was gone from his space and was out the door. All he left him with was a soft, “Goodbye Derek.”

 

Derek watched the waves of the beach ebb and flow to the shore with ease, a sort of calm he hasn’t been able to feel in years.

“Do you think I fucked up when I told him I was over him?” he asked the happy couple.

“No,” Erica said as Boyd answered with, “Definitely.”

They both gave each other a look.

Boyd started first, “Look, Erica is always about getting even and revenge and everything, but you have to be honest—that’s not you. Do you want him back?”

“I still love him,” Derek answered.

“That’s not what I asked,” Boyd said, “Loving him and wanting him back doesn’t always mean the same thing. If he told you he wanted you back, would you take him?”

“I don’t know,” Derek said, more to himself than anyone.

“Which is why you should get revenge on them while you decide!” Erica proclaimed.

Boyd rolled his eyes, “You’re so mean, you shouldn’t toy with people’s emotions like that. _Especially_ if you’re going to potentially want to get back together with them.”

“That’s why she needs you around Boyd, you keep her right,” Derek pointed out with a smug grin.

“Well Stiles all but left this poor boy at the altar. Also, who just kisses someone they _don’t_ care about?” Erica asked. “I’m sorry Derek, but I’m not convinced he doesn’t love you still.”

“I don’t know Erica, I’m so lost,” Derek sighed and gazed out at the ocean. “Aren’t I supposed to be the mysterious one? I can’t help but feel like he’s not giving me anything just so he can remain a mystery to me.”

 

Stiles’ days ever since he came back home looked a lot like: get up, shower, brush teeth, get dressed, eat, go to work, eat, talk to Dad, go to sleep, repeat. Because the restaurant was so popular on the weekends, he hadn’t had a Saturday off since he got the job.

Today was no different.

It was ten o’clock when he got up, so he rolled out of bed to sit at his computer desk to browse Facebook and Twitter and the like for a few minutes. It was mostly an excuse to look out the window because Derek usually ran past the house around this time every day.

He’d watch him run past every morning. Derek would either stop for a few minutes if his dad was outside to talk to him, or just run right on past but always sparing a glance up to Stiles’ bedroom window.

Erica was not seen running with him ever since they both ran into him a week after he got back. He remembered having to witness the horrific and blatant flirtation between the two in vivid detail, and, even though he knows they aren’t together, the action still stung.

Stiles also had to wonder if they did it on purpose—Derek had looked genuinely surprised to see him and Erica was shameless, though she seemed to try to tone down her attraction. And Erica calling Derek sour wolf? Stiles felt like he had gotten hit by a train.

Scott hadn’t known if their actions were intentional or not, but either way it still sucked.

Stiles had waited for the beautiful boy to run by for fifteen minutes, but he never came. Dejected, he got up from his desk and wondered where Derek was.

Not that he should care, because clearly Derek didn’t care anymore.

Or did he?

Stiles didn’t know.

He felt like he was in limbo, Derek won’t be honest with him and Stiles doesn’t really know how he feels for Derek.

He still loves him, for sure. Without a doubt. But he couldn’t bring himself to admit to Derek that he fucked up all those years ago. That the fact that he and Derek should be married by now and living in a house across the road from Scott and Allison, makes him feel like he’s in physical pain.

He thought if he heard the words “I’m over you, Stiles,” come out of Derek’s mouth, it would make loving him harder. That it would somehow ease the pain of letting him go. That it would help him get closure. That it would jump-start the healing process so he could finally move on.

Hearing it just made the hole in his heart ache almost as much as it did when he ended things. Stiles wanted to get closure but now he was stuck wondering if you could ever stop wanting to be with the love of your life.

Stiles checked his phone after hearing that it went off to see that there was a group message going around.

**Group MMS: Lydia Martin**

>> Hey everyone! Guess who’s coming home for the summer!! Hint, it’s me. Welcome home party at the bar at 9?

**Allison Argent**

>> I’m in! I work until midnight tho :(

**Scott McCall**

>> Count me in, I work until midnight too

**Isaac Lahey**

>> I’m there

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< I hate group chats

**Malia Tate**

>> I’ll be there!

>> By 10

**Liam Dunbar**

>> I’m going to be there too

**Danny Māhealani**

>> Sorry, got a hot date

**Jackson Whittemore**

>> Maybe

**Ethan Carver**

>> Count me and Aiden in

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< Did I ever mention how much I hate these group chats? Seriously Lydia, you should’ve made a Facebook status

**Lydia Martin**

>> But that wouldn’t annoy you Stiles ;)

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< Fine, I’ll go. Showing up with Scott after work

**Vernon Boyd**

>> Sure, I have the day off so I can come

**Erica Reyes**

>> Same I’ll come

Wait, what? Stiles stared at his phone wondering when they became friends again in the first place. He wondered if he should actually go now. He definitely wouldn’t if Jackson was going, too but the fucker only said “maybe”.

Which, you know what? Hell yeah he’s going to go and he’s going to yell at Erica for pawing all over his ex right in front of him on his own property. And tell her that the pie he never ate sucked. HA! And then go up to Jackson and punch him in the face for planting the seed of self-doubt in his brain about Derek.

**Erica Reyes**

>> Can I bring Derek Hale?

What the fuck? Stiles’ heart stopped and held his breath until she responded, hoping that it would be a big, fat no.

**Lydia Martin**

>> Sure, the more the merrier! See everyone there :D

It’s like she wanted to put Stiles through hell.

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< On second thought, I can’t make it

**Erica Reyes**

>> Don’t be an asshole Stiles, he’s allowed to see his friends too

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< They’re not his friends

**Erica Reyes**

>> They were too, once upon a time. And you’re the one who broke up with him and it’s been Y E A R S, so don’t be bitter, Stilinski

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< Do you want to take this to private message, Reyes?

**Erica Reyes**

>> No she doesn’t and I won’t be there. Welcome home, Lydia. -Derek

Stiles slumped back in his desk chair and spun around a couple of times. He was still kind of heated because of Erica and… what, disappointed that Derek wouldn’t be there? So Stiles could ignore him the whole night and stare at him when he wasn’t looking?

Stiles sighed, he wanted to be honest with Derek, he really did. But it’s hard to own up to your own mistakes. Every time he looks Derek in the eyes he sees the hurt he put there. He sees the man he broke when he shoved the ring back into Derek’s hand and said he was better than the town’s tragedy.

Even if Derek was lying about not loving him anymore, how could he ever forgive Stiles for what he did to him?

 

So maybe he and Scott got out of work a little early and _maybe_ Scott had secretly been feeding them shots when Derek wasn’t looking. So they were already buzzing when they got to the party and _maybe_ Stiles elbowed Erica on purpose when they were on their way to the bar to get a drink but no one had to know besides Stiles.

 And maybe it was only midnight when he reached the point of drunk but it didn’t matter because he was dancing with Lydia and laughing with Scott who was dancing with Malia and everything was _fine_ and it didn’t matter that Erica was here and Derek wasn’t and it was _good_.

And Stiles couldn’t really tell what time it was when Allison walked through the door with Kate in tow?? Lydia screeched and ran over to the both of them, leaving Stiles dance partner-less, and the two women wrapped the ginger-haired goddess in a hug.

“Lydia is my straight boy fantasy girl,” Stiles said to Scott, who had taken Lydia’s place promptly after she left.

“You’re not straight,” Scott pointed out. He busted some weird disco move and Stiles wondered who exactly taught this kid to dance.

“Well you’re a bad dancer.”

“I want to talk to Allison,” Scott said. “But I’m so nervous, she told me she needed more time but _fuck_ I love her so much, how am I supposed to stay away?”

Stiles shrugged. “Just give her the space man, if she wants you she will come to you,” he said through slurred words.

Scott laughed, “You’re the last person I want romantic advice from.”

Stiles frowned and looked over at Allison and Lydia talking very animatedly. “Why is Kate here?”

“I think she’s dating the owner of this bar.”

Stiles gave Scott a quizzical look, “But she hits on Derek all the time at work.”

“She does that to get under your skin,” a female voice said from behind the two boys.

Stiles turned around and was face to face with none other than Erica Reyes. Stiles stifled an eye-roll in favor of asking, “What?”

“Take it from someone who knows Derek personally,” Erica said, talking over the music that suddenly got louder. Some kind of dance music. Nick Jonas or something? “She doesn’t flirt with Derek, she _harasses_ him and he can’t do anything about it. Nicely asking her to stop and reporting her to HR, who is run by her best friend by the way, only egged her on more. The last time she did it, he snapped and told her to fuck off he got suspended for a week.”

“Why doesn’t Chris do something about it?” Scott asked.

“He did, when Derek finally went to him directly which I _told_ him he should’ve done in the first place. The harassment stopped for a while, but when she hired you two it started back up again _and_ only in front of Stiles. Don’t you think that’s suspicious?” Erica asked him.

“I don’t know that I want to believe you,” Stiles said bitterly.

Erica rolled her eyes, “I know I’m not your favorite person, dude, you’re not mine either but believe me. Kate is clearly still pissed that you stole Derek away from her and she’s trying to make your life a living hell. Boyd told me he had to _beg_ her not to give you the bartender job, just to spare both you and Derek. She wants to hurt you, can’t you see that?”

Stiles glanced over at Kate who was, in fact, hanging all over the middle-aged bartender behind the counter. Kate caught his eye and gave him a wink before kissing the bartender’s cheek.

“Maybe she just has a thing for bartenders?” Stiles offered weakly.

“Dude,” Scott said, “really?”

Erica shrugged, “You don’t have to believe me.”

Stiles sighed, “No, it makes sense I think.”

“Um, that’s not the reason I came over here, though.” she said, scratching her arm. “I wanted to apologize? For that stunt I pulled with Derek when you first moved back. Boyd has been encouraging me to right my wrongs and, well, that was really mean of me to do to you. Even if you deserved it.”

Stiles looked around the room, half the crowd was dancing, the other half were milling about, drinking, talking. In the corner was Boyd, Erica’s boyfriend, who was furiously talking to someone on the phone.

“Thank you,” Stiles said. “Um… it did hurt my feelings but I’m over it now. I appreciate your apology.”

“Uh, anyway. I know it’s not my business, I learned my lesson the hard way, but I think you need to talk to Derek,” Erica said. “He’s really upset and confused.”

Stiles nodded, feeling far too sober now. “I’ll talk to him soon, I think.”

 “Well, until then I still hate your fucking guts Stilinski.” Erica turned sharply on her heel and walked away from him.

Stiles turned around to tell Scott that he was going to get another drink, but he was no longer behind him. He surveyed the room again to see him joking around with Aiden and Ethan, full drink in his hand.

Kate was still up at the bar but Stiles was drunk enough to feel brave enough to go up there alone. She was just one person and she wouldn’t hurt him with this many witnesses around.

He hadn’t even approached the bar fully when Kate had zeroed in on him, a vicious smile curved her mouth. “What’ll it be, homewrecker?”

Stiles rolled his eyes, “Vodka soda, thanks vindictive bitch.”

“Are you even old enough to drink legally?”

“Are you even young enough to wear that outfit?” he spat back.

Kate laughed, “You’re cute, kid. Hey, babe? Vodka soda over here for the guy who stole my last boyfriend.”

The guy behind the counter laughed and set to work on Stiles’ drink. He was pretty sure it was going to be wrong and disgusting but he’d already made up his mind that this was his last drink and he was going home.

“You two weren’t even together,” Stiles pointed out, his voice shook ever so slightly. “He hooked up with you because he didn’t have any better options… until he met me.”

Kate frowned and crossed her arms, “I wouldn’t speak to your boss like that.”

“We’re both off the clock, you’re not my boss right now.”

The bartender gave Stiles his drink and said, “Kate, leave the kid alone, okay? Is there anything else that you need?”

Stiles took a sip of his drink and said, “Yeah, can you tell your girlfriend to stop flirting with my ex in front of me at work? It’s disgusting and bad for business.” He felt the lie roll off his tongue easily as the burn of the alcohol licked its way down his esophagus, “Her lewd language has caused more than one of my tables to get up and leave.”

“Sorry, _what_?” the guy said, turning to Kate.

“Please, Frank. I only do it to make Stiles mad—I don’t mean what I’m saying. Anyone who gives up all of this for… _that_ is not worthy of my time.”

Stiles would normally be offended, but it wasn’t anything he didn’t already know. He was never enough for Derek and he deserved better.

-+-

By the time Stiles had finished his drink, and several more shots, it was around one in the morning and he’d decided that the vodka soda was more just a cup of straight up vodka and he could already feel the blackout and sickness coming on. He blames Isaac for making him do those shots and Frank the bartender for not stopping him.

Scott was off making out with Allison by the pool tables, Erica and Boyd had since been gone, and Lydia was making eyes at Aiden so he decided to leave without saying goodbye.

The problem was that the walk home was twenty minutes and he didn’t want to pass out in someone’s yard if he couldn’t make it home in time. 

 Stiles let out a particularly disgusting burp and ran into one of the last people he wanted to see tonight.

“If you puke on my Armani, I’ll kill you Stilinski,” Jackson sneered and pushed him away from him.

“Fuck you, you know that?” Stiles slurred, stumbling and trying to find balance. “Lydia doesn’t even want you here.”

Jackson rolled his eyes, “She invited me, so I think she does. Do you have a ride home? You’re not driving in the condition you’re in.”

Stiles patted his pockets. “I’ll have you know that I don’t even know where my keys are.”

Jackson sighed, “Christ, I’m calling your dad. Hand me your phone.”

“I don’t know where that is either. I can’t even feel my face. You ruined my life!”

Jackson gave Stiles a look, “I didn’t ruin your life, you did that yourself. What’s your dad’s number, Stiles?”

“If I could tell which one of you was the real you,” Stiles said, waving his finger between the two blurry figures he was seeing, “I would punch you maybe.”

“Oh please,” Jackson laughed. “Where is Scott?”

“With Allison, I am so happy for him,” Stiles said with a smile. He then felt his stomach gurgle. “If you excuse me, I have to throw up now.”

The last thing Stiles remembered, after throwing up on what he hoped was Kate’s boyfriend’s expensive shrubbery, was laying down in the grass because the dew was cold and felt good against his warm face. The fading voice of Jackson talking to someone was like a lullaby, lulling him to sleep.

What he didn’t remember was the strong arms that lifted him from the ground and the familiar scent of home, bringing him to a car, stopping, and carrying him to a bathroom. He didn’t remember warm hands rubbing his back as he threw up in a toilet he didn’t recognize. He didn’t remember him changing his clothes and washing his hair, he didn’t remember him giving him aspirin and making him drink water. He didn’t remember falling asleep in the arms of the last person he wanted to see.

He also didn’t remember telling him how he was still so in love with him.

Always. Forever.

 

Stiles woke up the next morning, expecting the sunlight from his open blinds to burn his retinas. Instead, he cracked an eye open to find himself in a dark bedroom, with high quality curtains no less. Beside him on the nightstand was a huge glass of water and aspirin, which he gratefully took. He wasn’t sure where he was but he felt safe so he fell back asleep.

When he woke up again, he heard someone on the phone talking quietly, but harshly, to the other person on the line.

“No, shut the fuck up. That was bullshit and you know it.”

Stiles’ heartbeat stuttered a few times, he knew that voice anywhere.

“He could’ve gotten alcohol poisoning.”

Silence.

“You heinous bitch.”

Stiles felt the bed dip beside him as he sat down. He felt Derek run his fingers through his hair a few times while he listened to the other person speak. Stiles tried to ignore the goosebumps on his arms in favor of pretending to sleep.

“I don’t care what he called you, you two could’ve killed him.”

Silence.

“I don’t want to hear it. You are literally the worst person on that planet, you know that?”

Silence.

“Fuck you, Kate. Don’t go near him and don’t even think of fucking speaking to me again. Don’t think I won’t tell Chris about this either.”

Derek let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered and petted Stiles’ hair a few times. “I wish…”

Stiles braced himself for whatever horrible thing Derek was going to say. Wished that he ever met him? That he even got involved with him in the first place?

“I wish I had broken things off with her as soon as I realized I had feelings for you,” Derek said quietly. “Maybe then we wouldn’t be in this mess. Current mess.”

Derek got up and sighed.

“Why are we such a mess?”

 Stiles heard the doorknob turn and the door creak open. He wasn’t sure what came over him but the words were out before he could stop himself. “Derek? Will you stay?”

Stiles opened his eyes to see Derek standing in the doorway, staring at him. He felt less disappointed knowing that he didn’t reject him, but still feeling uneasy since he hadn’t answered yet.

“Please?”

Derek gave Stiles a half smile and the softest look. He wasn’t sure if that feeling in his stomach was butterflies or more vomit on the way, but the overwhelming feeling of happiness was undeniable.

“Do you need anything while I’m up?”

Stiles sighed, “No, just you.”

“Okay,” he said softly.

Derek walked over to the bed and sat down next to Stiles. “You want the TV on?” he asked.

“There should be a _Chopped_ marathon on somewhere,” Stiles said. “I wanna see Scott Conant obliterate the contestants.”

Derek found the marathon and turned down the volume, trying to be mindful of Stiles’ hangover. He laid back on his pillows and opened his phone. Stiles rolled over and looked at Derek. He was wearing his glasses and those grey sweatpants that almost gave him a heart attack last month. He could only thank God that he wasn’t wet this time.

Maybe Stiles was pushing his luck, but he had no energy to fight his need for affection—particularly from Derek. Stiles sidled up to Derek and laid his head on his chest and wrapped his arms around his waist. Derek threw an arm around Stiles and rested his chin on his head.

“How are you feeling?” Derek asked after a while, putting his phone on his lap and focusing his attention Stiles.

“Like fucking shit.”

Derek made a sympathetic, throaty noise and scratched his fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry,” he sighed.

“Not your fault,” he said, nuzzling into Derek more. “I was the one who over did it.”

Derek scoffed, “Yeah, maybe, but Frank should’ve cut you off like he did half the other people. He was being irresponsible because Kate told him to be.”

“I’m not even surprised that she was endorsing my death,” he tried to joke.

“It’s not funny, Stiles. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt—you could’ve died! I don’t care what petty bullshit you said to her or she said to you, as a bartender we’re supposed to cut customers off when they’re clearly over-beveraged—”

“Derek, it’s fine. I’m fine! I just have a hangover from hell, it’s not that big of a deal,” Stiles said.

Derek sighed, frustrated. “No, it is a big deal. It’s one thing when she flirts with me in front of you to get you angry, but it’s another thing to be frivolous with your personal safety just because she’s a witch.”

Stiles could hear Derek’s heart hammering in his chest, the look of concern on his face when he was saying all this made his heart sink.

“If you got hurt, if you _died_ , I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t. All because she thinks you stole me from her? That’s—it’s… stupid.”

“Derek,” Stiles said quietly. He propped himself upon his elbow to get a better look at the distraught man. “I know. It is stupid. She’s bitter and petty and doesn’t know how to let things go. She took it too far and I shouldn’t be joking about it. But I’m safe now, right? And she probably won’t mess with me again. I’m okay now though.”

“I’m just glad Jackson had the sense to turn you facedown after you passed out so you didn’t’ choke on your vomit,” he sighed, changing the subject.

“Did I puke more than once?”

Derek gave him a skeptical look. “You threw up for, like, a solid hour once I got you home. And a few times on the way here. I’m glad I brought a bucket.”

 _Home_. Stiles groaned and collapsed on Derek’s chest. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugged, “Not the first time I’ve watched you puke and it wasn’t the first time I had to wash your hair—”

“You _what_?”

“You had puke in your hair and all down your clothes, I mean you passed out in your own puke Stiles. I wasn’t going to let you sleep in it too,” he laughed. “I cleaned you up and changed your clothes. For God’s sake, I’ve seen you naked before—it’s not a big deal.”

“But this was the first time you’ve seen me naked post breakup, I wanted to get a lot more buff before you saw me naked again,” Stiles laughed.

Derek rolled his eyes playfully, “So you expected me to see you naked even after the breakup?”

“Well. No? Maybe? I don’t know what I was expecting when I came back. I just wanted to look extremely hot so that you’d want me again,” Stiles said, ducking his head in embarrassment. “But you won the breakup, you’ve never looked better.”

There was a pregnant pause in conversation. _Chopped_ droned on in the background but Stiles could only hear his heart hammering in his ears. _Why did I say that? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“Stiles, I’ve always thought you were hot,” Derek said quietly. “I’ve always been, like, wildly attracted to you. You’re incredibly handsome, more-so now than back when we were together, even.”

“I… you think?”

Derek nodded and pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, you look so much older, more mature. But still your same, stupid self. I like the longer hair.”

“Thank you,” Stiles said, trying to hide his smile.

He turned his attention to the show, not sure how to proceed with the conversation. This was all weird, uncharted territory and Derek’s openness was kind of weirding him out. He wasn’t trying to be aloof or mysterious or even evasive. His directness made it seem like this was their _real_ and _honest_ closure talk, and Stiles didn’t want that.

He didn’t want to be over Derek, he didn’t want this to be the end and _fuck_ if this didn’t feel like it. Stiles’ stomach sunk too his ass.

“Stiles?” Derek asked after a moment.

“Hmm?”

Derek furled his eyebrows, Stiles figured he was trying to pick the best words. “It makes me sad that you think there was a winner and a loser in our breakup.”

“Why? Do you think we both won?” Stiles’ heartbeat was in his ears again. Anxiety pooled in his belly and started seeping up his spine, licking every nerve ending it could find.

Derek looked down and him, frowning. “I think we both lost.”

Stiles stomach dropped. “Oh.”

Derek carded his fingers through Stiles’ hair again, probably sensing that he was on edge and needed something to soothe him. It was only sort of working.

“Uh, why do you think that?”

“I don’t know about you, but the last two years have been hell for me,” Derek said, his voice just barely above a whisper. “I missed you so much. My nightmares came back and therapy wasn’t helping. I never felt… feel whole. The fire caused me to lose everything, everyone I loved I never thought I’d have to feel that kind of pain again. And then that night when you left… I shattered, Stiles. Maybe it’s selfish to keep playing the victim and for that, I’m sorry but that’s how I felt. It’s been a long journey for me to feel like me again.”

Stiles blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry, Derek. What happened was fucked up, _I_ fucked up. I never should’ve…”

“Should’ve what?”

“I never should’ve called you a tragic disaster,” he whispered.

Derek’s fingers stopped working through his hair. “People say things out of anger, Stiles.  I said some pretty harsh stuff too.”

“But I threw your family’s death in your face and simultaneously told you that your love wasn’t good enough for me. Who does that?” A sob bubbled up through Stiles’ throat and past his lips without warning. 

“Oh, baby, no—don’t cry,” Derek whispered. He cradled Stiles in his arms and gently rocked him to try and soothe him. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay Derek!” he shouted, the exclamation causing the dull pain behind his eyes to throb. “None of this is okay! I feel… I feel so fucking bad whenever I think about it that it eats away at me. It keeps me up at night. I don’t regret breaking up with you, because I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve really grown outside of our relationship. Just the way I did it was so shitty and the guilt—”

“Stiles, I’ve forgiven you for what you said,” Derek said, interrupting. “I _was_ really angry and deeply hurt because of what you said to me, but it’s something I processed and forgave you for. I don’t hate you because of it.”

“I don’t know why you don’t,” Stiles said, wiping at his eyes.

Derek looked Stiles in the eye and said, “I am not going to hold something against you that I know you don’t believe in yourself. I could see it in your eyes that you regretted everything you said to me before you walked away that night.”

“But I still broke up with you because I thought I could do better.”

“Yeah, that hurt, I’ll admit it. But I am not some weak, shell of a man because you broke up with me. I’m not… I’m not someone you need to take pity on or worry that you’ve hurt my feelings because I have a tragic past. I hate that people tiptoe around me, that’s why I liked you so much to begin with, you were never worried about saying the wrong thing,” Derek said. “What happened to my family was shitty, but you never used that as an excuse to not be honest with me. You broke up with me because you wanted some time to be single, not because I’m a brooding, mysterious question mark. I think your guilt is manifesting in the fact that you called me the town’s tragedy, not that you wanted to explore your options.”

Stiles considered this and sniffled, the last of his tears trying on his face. “Maybe. But it still sucks.”

“The whole situation sucks, it’s a big fucking mess. That’s why I wanted to have this talk sooner rather than later,” Derek said, tugging on his ear.

 Stiles laughed and swatted Derek’s hand away. “Can I ask… why are you being so direct with me? All you’ve been doing this past month and half is being this sourwolf, selfish bastard who couldn’t be honest.”

Derek shrugged, “You’ve been acting the same way with me. But more jealous and more extreme.”

Stiles felt the heat of a blush creep up his neck and to his cheeks. “I know... and I’m sorry about that. I’ve had a hard time, like, coping with shit and I guess I’ve been acting out to get your attention?”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Derek said, nodding his head.

Stiles ran a hand down his arm and scratched at the hairs on his wrist, “What changed though? Why start being honest now?”

“I mean, do you want to play cat and mouse forever?” Derek looked down and played with the drawstrings of his pants. “But, beyond that… after I cleaned you up, fed you medicine and water, and tucked you into bed last night you told me that you… you are in love with me. Still,” he confessed, slowly, quietly. As if he could hardly believe it and was worried Stiles wouldn’t either.

Fortunately, hearing it jogged his memory and he _did_ remember saying it. Saying that he was in love with Derek. Still. Forever. Always.

“Did you mean that?” Derek asked, sparing a glance up at Stiles. His green eyes were painted with curiosity but his body language gave away how completely nervous he was.

“Drunk truths are sober lies,” Stiles whispered.

“Are they? I’ve been getting so many mixed signals that I don’t know what to believe,” Derek said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s incredibly frustrating.”

Stiles could feel his heartbeat in his ears as a delicate twinge of pink colored his cheeks. _Now or never._ “I am. Like. Still madly in love with you. These past two years have been miserable for me too and not just because of the guilt. I feel homesick when you’re not by my side,” Stiles confessed.

“I get that,” Derek said softly. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why weren’t you honest with me?”

“I thought… I thought there was no way you’d ever want me back after the shit I put you through. And the way you treated me and acted around me those first few weeks made me believe it—especially the thing with Erica,” Stiles said.

Derek winced, “I’m so sorry about that.”

“I know and Erica apologized yesterday. Anyway, I figured that you didn’t want me anymore so I just… tried to not want you too,” he said.

“What was all that about you telling Scott all you wanted was closure?” Derek asked. “Especially when I offered it to you and you wouldn’t take it. Would you explain?”

“Yeah. Uh, so I convinced myself all I wanted was closure when I came back because I was pretty sure that winning you back was off the table. After the first few weeks, I was certain that it was. So, I wanted closure—I wanted to hear you say the words that you were over me so I could believe it. I thought that it would make loving you harder. That holding onto hope was foolish. That it would somehow ease the pain of letting you go,” Stiles took a deep breath and looked at Derek, who seemed to be putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “I thought hearing the words would help me get closure, that it would jump-start the healing process so I could finally move on.”

“So _that’s_ why you made me tell you I was over you the last time you were here,” he said. “You were pushing my buttons to make me tell you what you wanted to hear.”

“Right.”

Derek took Stiles’ hand in his and held it, “So why did you tell me that you were over me if you weren’t?”

Stiles shrugged, fighting every muscle in his body that told him to collapse into Derek and just ask if they could be together again. Instead, he entwined their fingers—the gesture gave him the tiniest bit of hope. “I genuinely believed you were over me, I thought that if you heard me say it then you’d want to say it too. Besides, who’s gonna tell the love of their life that they still love them, if they’re convinced they have moved on?” he asked.

“Yeah… okay, sure that makes sense.”

“So, like. When we were arguing, I could feel you getting angrier and more frustrated and I knew the confession was about to come but then... that’s what made me realize that I didn’t want to hear you say you were over me. I tried to back track and convince you that you were still in love with me because I didn’t want to believe that you moved on,” he said. 

“I was so confused during that argument,” Derek laughed.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles said sheepishly.

Derek clicked his tongue. “So, what happened next?”

“Basically, I tried to get over you. I shamelessly flirted with all of the other servers at work to try and distract me and jump back into dating but it just felt so wrong. I didn’t want to process how I was feeling because I didn’t want to deal with the fact that I’m still madly in love with you and you aren’t. And I was scared that owning up to my mistakes and being honest with you and having this talk would give us real closure. I don’t want to be over you Derek,” Stiles said.

When Derek didn’t say anything he added, “I thought that if we never had this talk, that we’d always be unfinished business. I don’t want this to be the end but now we’re talking and being honest and having this conversation and _fuck_ it feels like we’re over.”

“Stiles, I don’t want this to be the end either. I think you already know that I was lying when I told you I felt nothing for you. I’m still in love with you, too,” Derek said, a smile playing on his lips.

Stiles sat in stunned silence for a few moments and then immediately clambered into Derek’s lap and started peppering his face with kisses.

“But.”

Stiles stomach sank and he swore his heart stopped beating for a moment. “But?” He was nearly in tears, afraid to hear what Derek had to say next.

“I don’t think we should get back together yet,” he said, sparing a glance up at Stiles. “I want to, I do, but I think we need to talk, like, _really_ talk about what happened that night so that we can’t bring up the past in any future arguments. Does that make sense?”

“What, like get closure so we can move on together?” he asked, shooting a brow up at the boy who looked so uncertain.

“Yeah. Stiles, I don’t want to lose you again and I’m afraid if we don’t reopen old wounds and really dig shit up and get it out, that our second try will be doomed before it even begins,” Derek sighed. “I’ve been selfish lately, I’ve been an ass, I’ve been someone that I haven’t been totally proud of and I think it’s probably because I’m still harboring some resentment towards you.”

Stiles nodded and squeezed Derek’s hand, “I think I know exactly what you mean. I won’t lie by saying I wasn’t hurt by how you’ve treated me the past few weeks and I think it would be good to finally talk shit out.”

“I’m glad you agree,” he replied, a soft smile playing at his mouth. “If we can do this and feel one-hundred percent better about our relationship, I think we’ll have a real shot at making this last.”

“I’d do anything you want me to do to have you back in my life again,” Stiles whispered, a truth he was still a little too afraid to say aloud.

“Likewise,” Derek said, gazing into Stiles’ eyes with a new sense of vulnerability—Stiles wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen Derek look at him like that before. He brushed a few stray hairs back into place before saying, “Not today, though. Let’s just have today to enjoy each other and not have to worry about what tomorrow brings.”

“I like that idea,” Stiles said.

They laid back down and watched their show. Their bodies pressed against each other and legs a tangled mess in the sheets—laughter filled their lungs as their hearts filled with joy and contentment.

Even if it was only for a moment.

 

***

Stiles slid the sliding door shut behind him as he made his way outside, the temperature was warm despite the overcast night sky that was bringing the promise of rain. June wasn’t particularly a rainy month and if it hadn’t been for the drought, Stiles would’ve been sour about the bad weather.

Derek was sitting on the edge of the deck that overlooked the Stilinki’s small, yet cozy, backyard. He was leaning back slightly, his arms were stretched out and were propping him up. Even from here Derek’s arms looked ridiculously toned, even through the thick smattering of hair that covered them. In another lifetime, one that was a bit more magical, Stiles was sure Derek was part wolf.

“Hey,” he greeted Derek.

Derek turned his head to face Stiles as best as he could, he greeted him with a smile and a warm hello.

Stiles took a seat next to Derek and twisted the ring on his finger that he’d only been wearing for a few days now. A week. A week since they started calling each other fiancé instead of boyfriend. A week since Stiles graduated, since Derek proposed, since they started the beginning of the rest of their lives.

“Did you tell your dad?” he asked and took Stiles’ left hand to admire the gold band. Stiles knew Derek would never admit it, but he was sure he was annoyed by how fidgety he was with the ring already.

“I was going to…”

“But? I can sense there’s a but,” Derek said, his eyes still trained on his hand. He wouldn’t look at him, and Stiles could feel the fight brewing in the pit of his stomach.

“I just—I think we should do it together. Is all.”

Derek’s eyes snapped up to Stiles, his stare harsh and cutting. Stiles wasn’t sure what Derek was accusing him of, he just knew he was accusing him of something.

“Okay, fine,” he said, his tone strained. He got up quickly, “Let’s do it now then.”

“No!” Stiles turned around and watched Derek reach for the door handle. “No please, let’s—not today.”

Derek dropped his hand and took a deep breath, “And why not?”

“Because,” Stiles said, he got up and brushed his dress pants off. They’d just come back from Lydia’s grad party. Stiles, on his way back from getting sodas for him and Derek, had run into Jackson, apparently just after he broke things off with Lydia, who reminded Stiles that people need time apart during college to see if their relationship will really work. “Uh, I know he won’t be happy? He already thinks we’ve taken our whole relationship too fast so this will probably give him a heart attack.”

Derek tilted his head slightly and gave Stiles _the look_. The are-you-serious-Stiles look. The you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me-Stilinski look. The you’re-being-unreasonable look.

“Don’t give me that look.”

Derek rolled his eyes and took a step away from the door, which immediately soothed Stiles anxiety about telling his dad they’re engaged. “Jesus Stiles, just because we’re engaged doesn’t mean we have to get married _tomorrow_ ,” he scoffed. “I want you to finish police academy before we even think about setting a date.”

It was Stiles’ turn to roll his eyes. “This argument again, Derek? I don’t even know that I want to join the force or if I want to go to UCLA with Scott. You know that!”

“So what, you’re going to move hours away from me after we just get engaged?” Derek sighed and ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

“I know you don’t want to be apart but we can make it work, we talked about that remember? You promised we could make it work,” Stiles said, a bite in his tone. He crossed his arms, “Or do you not want to do the distance thing? It’s either I stay here in Beacon Hills and be your fiancé or move to LA and be single?”

“Don’t even say that. For _fuck’s_ sake, Stiles, that’s _not_ what I’m saying and you _know_ that,” Derek snapped. “It would just be easier if you stayed—”

“I don’t care about what’s easier, I care about what _I_ want,” he said, interrupting.

“And what is it that you want, Stiles?” Derek said, throwing a hand on his hip. “Because I don’t really know what the hell has been up with you since I proposed but none of this is what we talked about back in April.”

“Things change, Derek!”

“What changed, then? Please tell me ‘cause I am in the dark, here.”

 Stiles wanted to laugh at him, he really did. “Are you being serious? What changed? Good God, Derek, when was the last time you asked me what I wanted and was serious about it? And no, thirty seconds ago doesn’t count. My plans for the future? All you pal. What I would be doing with my career, what friends I would see, where I would live, when we would get married, if I even was going to marry _you_ ,” Stiles scoffed. “My plans were _your_ plans Derek, you never wanted to know what I wanted, you only heard what you wanted to hear. Not that I was moving away, not that I would go to college—”

“Don’t try to paint me as a controlling boyfriend, Stiles,” Derek snapped. “I asked you what you wanted to do for everything that concerns your future, it’s not my fault that you didn’t have a spine enough to tell me no.”

Stiles recoiled, Derek’s words struck a particular nerve and it threw him off. Spineless? _Spineless?_ “As if you would’ve ever forgiven me for telling you no, that I in fact do not want to join the force and I do in fact want to move away from you. Are you _that_ lonely that you’re too afraid to have your boyfriend go away to college? Are you that fucking _sad_?”

It was Derek’s turn to recoil, now. “I… what? What are you saying here Stiles? If… if you want to go away to college then _okay_ I—I’m not trying to _make_ you stay with me.”

“But that’s exactly what you’re doing!” Stiles exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. He paced to the other side of the deck and stared out at the sparse foliage that made up the landscaping of their yard. “Derek, you have made all these plans for us when you haven’t considered that I might want something different because you’re afraid to be alone.”

“Fuck you,” he replied quietly. “Do you think that I didn’t have a life before I met you? That I didn’t have friends?”

“That _woman_? Kate? You were fucking—she doesn’t count as a friend.” How Derek could ever enjoy having sex with a woman was beyond him.

Stiles heard Derek scoff before saying, “I had other friends, too, Stiles. Braeden and Quinn were two of my best friends but you asked me to stop talking to them once you found out that I thought they were both attractive. Remember that? Remember how you’re revolted by my attraction to women? If I can stop talking to people I care about and overlook your obvious disgust with my bisexuality, why can’t you overlook my issues with abandonment?”

“Because you’re so selfish!” Stiles said, anger starting to boil hot beneath his skin. He turned around to face Derek again, “You’re selfish with _everything_ because you’re so scared that I’m going to leave you!”

“Sorry that I’m selfish? I’ll work on that, Stiles,” he said, sarcasm dripped in his voice. “I think it’s pretty selfish that you won’t let us tell any of our friends or your family that we’re engaged.”

“Boo-hoo, Derek. Go visit Beacon Hills Cemetery if you really want to tell someone the _fabulous_ news,” Stiles said. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. The look on Derek’s face… wide, hurt filled eyes, his mouth hung in a perfect ‘o’, a hand clenched over his heart.

“I already have,” he whispered, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence.

“Oh,” Stiles said, feeling ashamed.

Derek took a step forward and reached out to Stiles, who flinched away from the promise of a hug. Derek dropped his arm. “Why do you refuse to be happy about this? Why are you ruining this, Stiles?”

Tears welled in Stiles’ eyes, and all he could see was Jackson’s devilish smirk every time he blinked.

_You’re getting married to the first person you’ve ever slept with?_

_So young?_

_You should really explore your options first, Stiles. How are you really going to know that you want to be with him forever if you don’t know what else is out there?_

He couldn’t shake those words out of his brain for days, seeing Jackson today made things even worse. His anxiety was at an all-time high, he hadn’t been sleeping or eating as much as he should, and his self-doubt was starting to really manifest in his every day life.

Was he even good enough for Derek? What if he missed having sex with women? What if they couldn’t provide for their family? What if he _left_ him? What if their marriage failed? What if they had a whole bunch of kids they’d have to share custody over?

Stiles could hardly drown out the awful thoughts to focus on the good ones anymore. He was finding it hard to remember that Derek loved _him_ , that he would do anything to make their relationship work, that he would never have proposed to Stiles if he didn’t enjoy their sex life.

It was hard for Stiles to explain, but he was always so afraid Derek was going to wake up one day and magically decide he wanted to be with any of the gorgeous women out there who threw themselves at him and leave Stiles behind.

“If this is because I’m trying to make you stay and force the idea of joining the police academy onto you, then I’m sorry. You can go anywhere, be anything, do anything and I will be right there with you rooting for you the whole time,” Derek whispered, his eyes shone brightly with tears that haven’t been spilled yet. “I’m sorry that I’m afraid to be away from you, but my anxieties and issues are _nothing_ , I’ll do anything you want to stay together. Please just tell me what you want, Stiles, and I’ll do it.”

“Do you know what I want?” Stiles said, after a moment. His voice was barely above a whisper, because anything louder and he was sure his voice would shake. “I want to go to UCLA with Scott and Isaac.”

“Okay! We can do that,” Derek said, a tear slipped from his eye. “We can make that work. LA isn’t that far, not really anyway and we can see each other on the weekends and I can come visit.”

Stiles scuffed the toe of his shoe against the hardwood of the deck, struggling to find his words. _Jesus. Maybe I really am spineless._ “I don’t… I… college is a time for self-exploration and I think I want to see what else is out there for me.”

“That’s all fine,” Derek said quickly, tears steadily streaming down his face now. “It makes sense that you need time to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life.”

“And who I want to spend it with,” Stiles said slowly. He looked at the floor, he couldn’t bear to look at Derek as he said this.

“ _Who_ you want to spend it with?” Derek asked, incredulous, as if Stiles couldn’t do any better than he already had.

Stiles shook his head, “What? Don’t think I can do any better than Beacon Hills tragic disaster Derek Hale? You might be hot shit, dude, but you’re emotionally fucked.”

Derek just stood there, mouth hung slack, quiet tears rolling off his chin.

“Derek, I don’t want to get married.”

“Forget what I said. We don’t—”

“No. I want to break up,” Stiles said, suddenly angry that Derek was trying to salvage this. Judging by the sobs coming from him, he already knew this was over.

“Please don’t do this to me Stiles,” he sobbed. Derek tried to reach out to Stiles again, but he side-stepped his embrace.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Stiles said. Seeing Derek cry like this… breaking up with him, it was almost as hard as losing his mom. But Stiles couldn’t focus on how hard this was or how sad he was, or else his resolve would break.

“Stiles, _please_. Please don’t leave me, everyone left me—don’t leave me too.”

“See, that right there is what I’m talking about! Stop trying to manipulate me into staying with you because it’s not what I want!” Stiles shouted, channeling that anger that throbbed behind his eyes. “How do I get it through your thick skull that I don’t want to be with you anymore? Do you think it’s fun being in love with the town’s basket case? Think I would be proud to wear this stupid fucking ring and take your cursed, shitty last name?”

Derek just stood there, the look in his eyes was ripping Stiles apart. Betrayal. Complete and utter betrayal.

Stiles yanked the ring off his finger—it was a little on the small side—and threw it at Derek’s feet. “I don’t want that ring and I don’t want you. Get out of my life, Derek.”

After Derek left, Stiles let himself cry on the deck until the rain had soaked his clothes through and he was numb down to the bone.

If only he knew then that he’d never really shake that feeling.

***

 

The day they decided to hash things out it was warm, breezy, and not a cloud in the sky. They sat out at the deck where the breakup had transpired, except for now Stiles had lawn chairs out for them to sit on and a table to keep the distance between them.

Two weeks ago, they’d decided to let themselves have a day to just be with each other and not worry about the future. Stiles left Derek’s the next day with a promise to reevaluate what he wanted and that they would meet in a few weeks to discuss where they should take their relationship next.

They hadn’t really seen each other since, Stiles took a week off to go upstate with his dad to go camping and the next week Derek took off so that he and Erica could go to the ComiCon they had been planning a vacation around. While it was really fucking cool, and expensive, to meet Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, Derek couldn’t shake the excitement he felt to finally see Stiles again. Texting every so often could only do so much to quell his need to see him.

Finally, there he was in all his glory. He’d gotten his hair trimmed up a little to keep it from getting too short and his brown eyes were more brown than gold today. He’d been out in the sun more, it would seem, because there were new smattering of freckles on his face and arms that Derek hadn’t seen since the summer before their break up.

“Stop staring,” Stiles said sheepishly, a huge grin plastered on his face.

Derek was leaned out on the glass table, his elbow bent and his fist supporting the weight of his head. He smiled back at the boy, “Stop being so blindingly beautiful and I would. Besides, you know you love the attention.”

“This was not the verbal ridicule I was expecting to get this afternoon,” he laughed, gently reminding Derek of why they were really here.

“Right,” Derek said with a frown. He sat up straight and sighed, “Where do we begin? And who starts?”

Stiles shrugged and looked out into the yard, probably admiring his handy work with the new lawn mower he took a spin with this morning. “Why don’t you go?”

“Okay,” he said and took a deep breath. “I think the most pressing issue right now is that I need to be sure that you’re not going to be a dick about my bisexuality anymore.”

Stiles chewed his lip and looked back at Derek. “I know we already touched on this briefly but I was just scared that you were going to feel like you were missing out, I guess? It was never about how you’re bisexual, like, yes I suppose that’s how it manifested but I _promise_ it was just because I was so scared you were going to wake up and leave me because you were tired of how I am in bed,” Stiles’ cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. “When I met you, I was a blushing virgin and you were _so_ experienced already and I just. I was constantly worried I wasn’t enough or satisfying you or whatever.”

Derek frowned. “You know that I would’ve never proposed to you if I didn’t think our sex life was great, right? Like rationally you must know this. You were more than enough for me in bed, the best sex I’ve ever had. I’m sorry that I never sensed your insecurity and that I never tried to reassure you. I guess I just figured that because when we marathon fucked on your eighteenth birthday, and that I needed a full day to recover, you would just know how good you were for me.”

Stiles was beat red, at that point. “I’m beyond thankful my dad wasn’t around to hear that.”

Derek laughed and bit his lip, Stiles always looked so cute when he was flushed. “Is that all then? Just that you were worried I’d leave you for someone else because I’d get bored?”

Stiles nodded. “Perhaps I also had a narrow-minded view of what it meant to be gay, too. I was one of the only gay kids in town and when I moved to UCLA, I was told by many different LGBT+ folks about how shitty I was about your bi-ness because we talked about it a lot,” he explained. “I even had sex with a girl to see what all the fuss was about—but it wasn’t my cup of tea. I’ve really grown from who I used to be, Derek. I’m sorry that my actions don’t always reflect that—you get under my skin in the best _and_ worst ways, and sometimes it brings out the worst in me too.”

“Okay, I’m glad you’ve realized that you were wrong back then and you’re making changes to do right by it,” Derek said. “I’m surprised that you slept with a girl, though?”

Stiles grimaced, “She knew that it was an experiment for me and somehow was okay with it. She was nice, but… like I said, not my cup of tea. I suppose I could see the appeal, though. Anything else you want to address?”

 “I want to tell you that it was really shitty of you to call me a basket case and tell me to go to the cemetery when I have good news,” Derek said quietly. “I think of all the things you said to me, while they may have been cruelly true, those two hurt the worst. Please remember that I’ve forgiven you, but saying that to your face made me feel a whole hell of a lot better.”

Stiles grimaced again and put his face in his hands, “Oh Jesus I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said softly. He reached his hand out and took one of Stiles’ in his. He bent his head down to make eye contact with the deeply apologetic boy, “I promise you, it’s okay.”

“Okay,” Stiles said, his eyes never moving from Derek’s.

Derek took a moment to think then, “It really hurt me when you told me you manipulated me to tell you that I was over you and when you lied about needing closure. It also hurt me when I saw you flirting with Danny. And again when you kissed me without explanation. But I wasn’t any better so I can’t really blame you.”

Stiles nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“I believe you. It also really frustrated me how immature you were when I wanted to talk with you about serious issues,” Derek said. “It makes me wonder if you’re ready to have an adult relationship. I mean, they rely heavily on communication to work and you’re going to have to _talk to me_ when something is bothering you or whatever instead of trying to avoid it and hope that it fixes itself.”

“I think I remember telling you that I avoided that conversation because I didn’t want us to have closure because that would mean we were over, right?” Stiles asked. When Derek nodded he continued, “I have problems with confrontation, I know that. I promise I will work on my communication with you if and when we get back together. I want this to work more than anything, Derek.”

“Okay, I am glad to hear that.”

“My turn?” Stiles asked, jumping his leg up and down out of nervousness.

Derek nodded.

“It was… really… frustrating for me when you played the victim throughout this whole thing. I understood that you _were_ the victim but it was like you wouldn’t just _let it go_. It was aggravating to hear from Scott that you went on a mini rant that everyone leaves because you’re the town’s tragic disaster and that you don’t deserve to be happy,” he confessed.

“In my defense, that was my depression talking,” Derek said. “But I agree, after a while I knew I had to stop blaming you, and the fire, for all of my problems but it’s like I didn’t want to let it go? I worked on getting closure about the fire with my therapist but I refused to talk about you with her. It was like… if I could just not let go, that it would maybe bring you back somehow? I don’t know if that even makes sense.”

“I suppose I could see how it would make sense,” Stiles said, he drummed his fingers against the glass of the table. “But will you please stop being Human-Disaster-Derek-Hale and just be Derek Hale from now on? The fire, and the break up, don’t define who you are to me or to anyone.”

“I will work on that.”

“Secondly, I guess I don’t know if you do this anymore but will you please never emotionally manipulate me to stay with you because you are afraid to be alone? That was a huge red flag to me at the end of our relationship and I can’t be with you if you continue to do that,” Stiles said.

Derek took a deep breath and thought carefully about what he was going to say before he said it. “After the fire, I was alone and it was really hard to adjust to coming from a huge family. After a while, I found a group of friends that I latched onto for dear-fucking-life and I did the same to you once I met you. When you left me, and all our friends stopped talking to me, I had to learn how to get comfortable with being alone and my therapist helped me with that,” he explained. “I don’t think I would try to manipulate you because I’m not afraid to be alone anymore. If you want, you are more than welcome to join me in therapy so we can talk about this with Kathy—she’s a couple’s counselor too.”

“I would like that,” Stiles said with a smile. “I just can’t have you making decisions for me anymore, the only person who knows what is best for me is me. Please respect that.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“Last, it deeply hurt me whenever I saw you flirting with other people especially because I knew you were doing it on purpose, which hurt even more. It was incredibly selfish of you to toy with my emotions like that,” Stiles said. “Maybe you wanted to get my attention, maybe you wanted to see if it would get a rise out of me, I don’t know. Either way, it really hurt and yeah… it sucked.”

“Remember the day I brought you to the break room to yell at you ‘cause you wouldn’t give me closure? I saw you flirting with Danny and I realized then that I was getting a taste of my own medicine and it really hurt. I regret ever making you feel that way Stiles,” Derek said. “It was the worst feeling, I am so sorry.”

“I appreciate your apology,” Stiles grinned. “Not sorry I made you feel that way though.”

“I didn’t think you would be,” Derek grinned back.

Stiles bit his lip and said, “I know I said that was my last thing but I have one more issue.”

“What’s that?”

“Kate.”

Derek leaned back in his chair and considered that. “Well, Chris put her on a suspension for a month for what she did to you at the bar a few weeks ago, and I suspect he may fire her. I only ever see her at work and I would be more than happy to never have to see her again,” he said. “She is a non-issue.”

“Still. She makes me uneasy. Like that time I ate those bad tacos when we went to Disney for Isaac’s birthday that year.” Stiles shuddered at the memory.

Derek laughed and tried to push out the memory of Stiles projectile vomiting all over Mickey Mouse. “Well, we could make out on the hood of her car at work and then tell her thanks for getting us back together. Her whole plan was to dangle you in front of me like you were a steak bone and I was a starving dog,” he pointed out.

“I bet she never suspected that we’d actually get back together,” Stiles smiled softly. He reached across the table and grabbed Derek’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“She might’ve, but I think she was banking on us being too stubborn to actually admit we still love each other,” Derek said.

“Can I kiss you now? Like officially? As boyfriends?” Stiles asked.

“What are you waiting for?” Derek laughed and stood from his seat.

Stiles got up and stepped into Derek’s personal space. He brushed some hair out of Derek’s eyes and settled his hands on his hips, relishing how solid he felt through the soft fabric of his shirt.

Derek cupped Stiles’ cheek and looked into his eyes, the browney-greeny-goldy colors melting together to create a galaxy in which he could look to see Stiles’ soul. Derek couldn’t tell you who leaned in first but when their lips met for the first time in earnest, he couldn’t deny the fireworks that exploded in his chest.

They pulled apart and Derek rested his forehead against Stiles’. “I missed this,” he whispered.

“I did too,” said the voice of Sherriff Stilinski.

The boys pulled apart and turned to find Stiles’ dad watching them through the screen door, a smile plastered on his face and a package of hot dogs in his hands.

The Sherriff opened the door to join the boys out on the deck. “I got off early and thought I’d do some grilling for dinner, Stiles, would you mind introducing me to your boyfriend so I can stop seeing you so fucking mopey all the time?” he laughed.

Stiles smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t have much else to do than lay around the house dramatically and whine about how much I missed you,” he explained.

“Hiya Noah,” Derek said and offered his hand out for a handshake.

Noah took it and pulled Derek into a huge hug.

Stiles went into the house to grab plates, buns, and brews and he couldn’t help but feel like this was going to be the best summer of his life. For the first time in a while, he felt like everything in his life had a place.

 

**Stiles Stilinski**

<< Hey bro wanna come over for some dinner?

<< Dad’s cooking dogs

<< Derek is here

<< Btw we’re back together

 

**Scott McCall**

>> Jesus it took you long enough.

>> Yeah, I’ll be over in ten? Allison’s coming too.

**Stiles Stilinski**

>> Jesus. Took you long enough

 

**Scott McCall**

<< :eyeroll:

 

**Stiles Stilinski**

>> Okay. Whatever.

 

**Scott McCall**

>> It. Is. Finished.

 

**Erica Reyes**

<< I know, Derek just texted me

<< Good work team, beers on you next time we go out to the bar


End file.
